• Home
  • Shop
  • Cindi’s Speaking
    • Cindi’s Event Schedule
    • Book Cindi for Your Event
    • Cindi’s Speaking Topics
    • What Cindi Believes
    • Endorsements
  • Coaching Services
    • Coaching Credentials / Endorsements
    • Fees For Coaching/Consulting Service
    • Do We Fit?
    • Cindi’s Coaching/Consulting Options
  • Blog
  • Videos
  • Encouragement
    • Articles of Encouragement
    • Encouragement for Couples
  • About Cindi
  • Contact
Type and hit ENTER
  • Home
  • Shop
  • Cindi’s Speaking
    • Cindi’s Event Schedule
    • Book Cindi for Your Event
    • Cindi’s Speaking Topics
    • What Cindi Believes
    • Endorsements
  • Coaching Services
    • Coaching Credentials / Endorsements
    • Fees For Coaching/Consulting Service
    • Do We Fit?
    • Cindi’s Coaching/Consulting Options
  • Blog
  • Videos
  • Encouragement
    • Articles of Encouragement
    • Encouragement for Couples
  • About Cindi
  • Contact
GET CONNECTED
retina-image
cart
  • Home
  • Shop
  • Cindi’s Speaking
    • Cindi’s Event Schedule
    • Book Cindi for Your Event
    • Cindi’s Speaking Topics
    • What Cindi Believes
    • Endorsements
  • Coaching Services
    • Coaching Credentials / Endorsements
    • Fees For Coaching/Consulting Service
    • Do We Fit?
    • Cindi’s Coaching/Consulting Options
  • Blog
  • Videos
  • Encouragement
    • Articles of Encouragement
    • Encouragement for Couples
  • About Cindi
  • Contact
  • 0 Items : $0.00cart
When You’ve Disappointed Someone — Again
Share
Party Is Over
Trusting God with Your Story

When You’ve Disappointed Someone — Again

April 18, 2022
-
Posted by Cindi

It’s one thing to be disappointed in someone.

But it’s even more hurtful, at times, when someone else is disappointed in you.

And yet, it’s par for the course in ministry. Sometimes it happens just by being a believer and doing what you thought was right. And other times it happens and you still don’t know how you could’ve avoided it.

You and I will never be able to please every person every time. But sometimes it feels like disappointing someone – or many – happens more times than we’d like to think.

After 30 years of pastoral ministry alongside my husband, I realized that learning to deal with disappointing others is just as important as learning to deal with others disappointing me.

I again experienced the pain of disappointing someone when I sat across the table from a friend and heard her tearfully  recount the many ways I had let her down. I hadn’t called her in quite awhile, I failed to extend toward her in the way she had hoped when she was going through a difficult time, and we didn’t get together as often as we used to.

I had hurt her and in discovering that, it had hurt me.

It was one of those days when one complaint felt like a million – when one person’s  unhappiness with me represented the whole world’s disappointment with me. Can you relate?  

As I cried out to God, I found comfort in the fact that He knows me inside and out, motives included, and He ultimately is the One who pleads my case.

Through the years, I’ve learned that it helps to keep these four things in mind when you’ve clearly disappointed someone.

  1. Realize that misunderstandings happen.  Boy, do they.
  2. Thank Jesus that He can see your heart.  Because He’s the Only One who sees our motives, misunderstandings will happen. In the Bible, we are given a song of comfort that reminds us of the One who knows us more than any other.

                        “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.

                        You know when I sit and when I rise;

                        You perceive my thoughts from afar.

                        You discern my going out and my lying down;

                        You are familiar with all my ways.

                        Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.”

                         (Psalm 139:1-4)

It comforts me to know that God can see my heart. He knows my intentions. And He knows every time I mean well but don’t express it, every time I mess up but didn’t intend to, every time I’m misunderstood and miserable. He knows. And He extends grace anyway.

  1. See it as a chance to grow. In addition to knowing my heart, God is able to show me, through my situation, how I can be more loving and sensitive to the needs of others, and at the same time not be someone who weighs down others with a list of unmet expectations.
  2. Do what you can and then let it go. Sometimes there’s only so much we can do. Do it. And then let it go. In my case, I took the time to write out a card to my hurting friend and mailed it that day. I reiterated the hurt in my heart that I had caused her pain. I reminded her that I truly loved her. And then I left it in the Lord’s hands. I prayed for her heart to receive it well. And I prayed for His strength to move forward, and not become bitter at her response, or timid to reach out to another person, or resentful that “this is ministry.”

My friend was gracious in her response. And I learned something more through the situation. Whenever something hurts (like a comment, an insult, or unintentionally hurting someone else), I now ask God to show me through it how I can be more sensitive next time, how I can avoid the situation in the first place, and how I can become like Christ through it. He really does honor our prayers when we seek to know Him through our circumstances.

In my case, I prayed for a heart to be more concerned with others and what they’re going through than my own to-do list. And I made a conscious decision that day to extend a bit further, and call more frequently when it came to that particular friend. 

 Are there people in your life you continue to disappoint? Do you get frustrated at the thought that there are too many people to please and too little of you? Are you sometimes ready to quit because you can’t seem to get it right when it comes to relationships?

Take heart, my friend. There is One who knows your heart and your hurts, your intentions and oversights, your disappointments and frustrations. And with all He knows, He continues to give you another chance, continues to mold you into the person He wants you to be, and continues to show you how to imitate His love, whether it is well-received or not.

If you’re feeling alone today because you’ve been misunderstood, or because you feel you haven’t been the best friend you could be, take hope in this: There is One who knows all about you and loves you just the same.

Hope in Him. Pour out your heart to Him. And let Him be the One to clear your name. 

For more on finding comfort in God’s love, see my books, Letting God Meet Your Emotional Needs, Women on the Edge, and When God Sees Your Tears.

April 18, 2022
6 Comments
Cindi
Cindi McMenamin is an award-winning author and national speaker who helps women find strength for the soul. She has nearly 35 years experience ministering to women and inspiring them to let God meet their emotional needs, grow stronger through their alone times, and pursue their dreams with boldness.
← PREVIOUS POST
Seven Ways to De-stress This Spring
NEXT POST →
4 Ways to Know He's a God of Second Chances

6 Comments

on When You’ve Disappointed Someone — Again.
  1. Carol
    April 20, 2022 @ 6:18 am
    -
    Reply

    Thank you for sharing your experience and wise response regarding the misunderstanding. I appreciate being reminded that misunderstandings are a part of all our lives and to be expected, not feared as personal failure. I have found such comfort in knowing that God sees each person’s side in the relational trouble and loves us each where we are at on our journey with Him. I have a tendency to want to rush and fix the misunderstanding so I feel better but I am learning to sit with the pain and learn from it with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I am learning to want the fruit of the Spirit, not the fruit of my labour in trying to fix the brokenness to soothe my own discomfort. When I wait on Him, I grow in Spiritual maturity and that is a “win”.

    • Cindi
      April 20, 2022 @ 3:17 pm
      -
      Reply

      Wow, Carol, you just described me at times, too. How I try to “fix” it all sometimes without waiting to see how God wants to “fix” me through it, instead. 🙂 Thank you for putting your experience into words. It ministered to me greatly. 🙂

  2. Lonnie Afonso
    April 20, 2022 @ 7:41 am
    -
    Reply

    Thank you Cindi!
    Such a well written devotional on being misunderstood. Love your closing words” Hope in Him. Pour out your heart to Him. And let Him be the One to clear your name.”
    God is the only One who can change hearts. 💕
    Lonnie Afonso

    • Cindi
      April 20, 2022 @ 3:16 pm
      -
      Reply

      Thanks, Lonnie, for your encouraging words. 🙂

  3. Sherry
    April 20, 2022 @ 11:31 am
    -
    Reply

    Spot on!

    • Cindi
      April 20, 2022 @ 3:15 pm
      -
      Reply

      Thank you, Sherry. 🙂

Leave a Comment

Your feedback is valuable for us. Your email will not be published.
Cancel Reply

Please wait...
Submit Comment

Categories
Also Find Cindi on:

Cindi’s Books Also Available On:
kindlenook
4 Things to Do When You're Feeling on Edge: Frustr 4 Things to Do When You're Feeling on Edge: Frustrated at the world? Wanting a change? Here are four healthy things to do during this season of life: https://strengthforthesoul.com/4-things-to-do-when-youre-feeling-on-the-edge/
7 Ways to De-stress this Spring -- May can be a mo 7 Ways to De-stress this Spring -- May can be a more restful month with these practical tips. Read more at: 
https://strengthforthesoul.com/seven-ways-to-de-stress-this-spring/
When You've Disappointed Someone Again -- Here's h When You've Disappointed Someone Again -- Here's how to deal with the hurt of unintentionally hurting someone else.  https://strengthforthesoul.com/when-youve-disappointed-someone-again/
4 Ways to Know He's a God of Second Chances -- Eve 4 Ways to Know He's a God of Second Chances -- Even when you blow it, God won't leave you by the wayside. Here's 4 ways to know that for sure: https://strengthforthesoul.com/4-ways-to-know-hes-a-god-of-second-chances/
4 Benefits to Starting Your Day in Prayer :) Here' 4 Benefits to Starting Your Day in Prayer :) Here's how going to God first can get you out of bed and make your entire day better: https://strengthforthesoul.com/4-benefits-to-starting-your-day-in-prayer/
5 More Ways to Get it Right with Others - Are you 5 More Ways to Get it Right with Others - Are you missing what could be obvious to everyone else? Here are five things you may want to know about improving your relationships -- https://strengthforthesoul.com/5-more-ways-to-get-it-right-with-others/
5 Ways to Improve Your Relationships Today! You ca 5 Ways to Improve Your Relationships Today! You can build -- not drain -- your relationships with these five simple steps. :) https://strengthforthesoul.com/five-ways-to-improve-your-relationships-today/
How to Pray for a Fresh Start This Month! Would y How to Pray for a Fresh Start This Month!  Would you like another chance to get it right?  Here's how to pray for a do-over in February!  https://strengthforthesoul.com/a-prayer-for-a-fresh-start-this-month/
How to Pray to Bend God's Ear - Wondering if God's How to Pray to Bend God's Ear - Wondering if God's really listening? Here's a suggestion for how to bend His ear and touch His heart:  https://strengthforthesoul.com/how-to-pray-to-bend-gods-ear/
3 Ways to Raise Your Worship Game - How much of y 3 Ways to Raise Your Worship Game -  How much of your daily life consists of worship? Here are 3 ways to be more eternally focused and heaven-prepped (and it doesn't have to involve singing!): https://strengthforthesoul.com/3-ways-to-practice-more-worship/
4 Reasons to Sing in this New Year -- The last 2 y 4 Reasons to Sing in this New Year -- The last 2 years seemed dismal but here's why we can be  joyfully expectant in 2022. :) 
https://strengthforthesoul.com/four-reasons-to-sing-in-2022/
You are Overwhelmingly Loved at Christmas & Always You are Overwhelmingly Loved at Christmas & Always. https://strengthforthesoul.com/you-are-loved-at-christmas-and-always/
Follow me on Instagram

SIGN UP FOR CINDI'S BLOG

  • ABOUT CINDI
  • PRIVACY POLICY

Copyright Strength for the Soul, 2018

When You’ve Disappointed Someone — Again | Strength for the Soul