It’s probably the one question I hear women ask more than any other. It is likely the biggest area of frustration for a large percentage of my readers. And it is definitely one of the most difficult questions for me to answer.
The question is “When will God give me a husband?”
If you’re like me, you’ve grown up on verses we tend to think are promises that God will give us whatever we ask for. Verses like Jeremiah 29:11:
For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.’
And verses like Psalm 37:4:
Delight yourself in the Lord;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
But, honestly, there are no magic verses or biblical formulas or even promises that God will give every woman a husband.
In years past, I found myself telling women: “Seek God first and He’ll bring you a man.” But I have also seen that sometimes that doesn’t necessarily happen. I know some of you have been seeking God for years. And you still have no man. So a husband is not a litmus test as to whether or not you are putting God first in your life. After all, look at all the godless women who have husbands….or have had several!! But I will say this: “Love Jesus with all your heart, soul and mind and tell Him if He is all you ever have, that will be enough.” That does something to your heart — and to His. And when God becomes all we want, then we have all we want. When He becomes our First Love, we will be satisfied with only that love. When He becomes our all-in-all, we will have no need to look for anything or anyone else to complete us.
I told God, in my early 20s, that I didn’t ever want another man in my life unless that man would draw me closer to my Lord. I had just come out of a hurtful 4-year dating relationship that had been a huge distraction to my relationship with God. I had also had a short, dangerous rebound dating relationship that had served as a wake-up call as to how easily I could forget God if I were to date or marry a man who doesn’t follow God with all of his heart. It had been a long season of relegating God to second place, rather than first. I knew that if my life were to please the Lord, He would need to remain first in my heart, no matter who entered my life. And God, in His wisdom, brought me a husband who made me cling even closer to my Lord once I discovered my husband couldn’t possibly meet all my emotional needs.
God knows what it is that will keep us clinging to Him. So why would He ever give us our heart’s desire if it would result in our relegating Him to second place? Why would He give us the one thing (or person) that might keep us from clinging to Him?
If you’ve prayed for a husband and God hasn’t answered, I don’t know why He has chosen to answer in that way. But I do know this: His “no” either means “I’m protecting you from what you don’t yet see” or “I have something far better for you that you haven’t yet asked for.” Trust Him. He is loving. He is good. And He has your eternal best at heart.
If this blog is for you, please let me know so I can pray for your heart — and God’s blessing on your life — this week. Or, if you are someone who has comforting words to offer a woman who is hurting over this issue, please leave a comment in the space below to encourage her.