When you experience difficulty or you’ve been hurt by another person, is it natural for you to withdraw and shut others out?

Believe me, I understand.

But the Bible tells us isolating is not exercising sound judgment. In Proverbs 18:1, King Solomon wrote:  “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment” (ESV). That verse tells us it’s not only unwise to isolate oneself, it’s dangerous.  Isolation (or withdrawing from others) pulls us away from the body of Christ where we can be encouraged by other believers, and it leaves us far more vulnerable to the attacks of Satan, the enemy of our soul. Satan often seeks to first isolate us from other believers and then accuse us and discourage us further.

I didn’t realize how quickly isolating tendencies could become habit until recently. I had been pretty independent over the past couple years as my schedule got busier and my phone and zoom coaching increased. I was spending less time face to face with my friend, Midge, over tacos on Tuesdays, and more time in front of screens coaching writers. I was spending less time in my favorite booth at Chick-fil-A, listening to others share what’s on their hearts, and more time cultivating my own spiritual life apart from the accountability and encouragement from others.

And then I went through a health scare, followed by the news that my mother had less than six months to live. Going through things like that can make you start wondering Whom I can call if I suddenly need a ride to the hospital and my husband isn’t available? and Who is in my life who can help me through this struggle and keep me trusting in my Lord, regardless of my circumstances?

You and I weren’t meant to go through life alone. So, when you start feeling lonely or the temptation to isolate from others, it’s an inner alarm that something is off. And it could be:

• You aren’t cultivating enough friendships in your life.
• You have some unresolved hurts that are keeping you from opening up with others.
• You are unknowingly turning people away and living as a “loner.”
• You’ve been prioritizing productivity over people (this is for the busy person who is lonely and doesn’t know it) and need to find a healthy balance.
• You are further from God than you should be (perhaps not communing with Him daily?).
• You have been depending on people more than God, and people disappoint, leaving you feeling lonely.
• You are depending solely on God, at the expense of no longer being around people.

God didn’t intend for us to live in isolation. He created us to live in community. When you are among other believers who can encourage you and hold you up, you are one who is continuing to grow spiritually, as well as emotionally. Although God wants to draw us close to His heart through our struggles, we can grow spiritually through a healthy balance of alone time with God and time with other believers.

God created us for relationship with Him and with others who can help us grow, help us experience Him, and help us see Him in ways we couldn’t otherwise.

In a recent phone conversation with my Dad, in which he told me about a few instances he had that week in which he had opportunities to listen to hurting people, I thanked him for being Jesus to the people he interacts with every day. Dad was touched by those words. I realized, after I got off the phone, that he called that day to encourage me, but I was able to encourage him too. That’s how it works in a family—especially in the family of God. God wants believers sharpening one another, supporting one another, helping one another, and encouraging one another “all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25). If you don’t have that kind of love, encouragement, and support from your natural family, it is waiting for you in your spiritual family—in the church, what Scripture calls the body (the human hands and feet) of Jesus. And if no one is being Jesus to you, start being Jesus to someone else. That’s often when you begin to feel connected.

God, help me move a step further away from isolation today and connect more closely with another believer.

For more on growing closer to God and others, see my brand-new hard-back book: The New Loneliness Devotional: 50 Days to a Closer Connection with God. now available for pre-order on Amazon.