I remember the days when I felt completely worthless as a mom.
It was during my daughter’s teenage years when I was still trying to figure out how to instill healthy values in her, how to not escalate an argument with her by how I responded, and how to not be a legalist when it came to her preferences that were different than mine.
So many times I found myself apologizing to her with the words “I’m still trying to figure this out. I’ve never been a mom to a teenager before.”
I’m such a loser, I would tell myself. Oh, how I wish I knew back then what I know now:
God had appointed me to be her mother because He knew how desperately I’d need to depend on Him to get me through. And He had every intention of helping me be the Mom He designed me to be.
Looking back on those years now, Dana wasn’t really a challenge at all. I was just trying to be the best mom I could and felt like I was failing through most of it. But God was faithful every step of the way.
Parenting can be scary when we see our children make choices we wouldn’t have made, when they start walking a path that looks uncertain to us, or when they no longer want our opinion or watchful eye on them. We fondly remember how closely they would cling to our legs, only to see them now run with all their might to get away from our arms. And yet…the God who made you mother of each of your children didn’t make a mistake. He knew exactly what you were capable — and incapable — of. And He stands ready to be your Right Hand.
In Psalm 16:8, David the Psalmist said: I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
God is at your right hand, too, whispering wisdom, offering comfort and providing peace just when you need it.
During those times when I felt like a lousy mom, I drew my greatest strength from Philippians 4:6-7: Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Such simple words that, when heeded, made all the difference in the world: Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything.
And the result when I did? Peace like I’d never known it. A huge part of that peace was the realization that God had me right where He wanted me…depending on Him, seeking His wisdom, coming to Him with my concerns, and confident that He had appointed me, over any other woman in the world, to be my daughter’s mom.
You, too, have been appointed , over every other woman in the world, to be YOUR child’s mother. Gain confidence in that. And lean into the One who can help you every step of the way.
It WILL be a Happy Mother’s Day this weekend because you are right where God wants you to be — depending on Him to be the mother He designed you to be.
The title of today’s post caught my attention right away. Thanks for these encouraging words! They speak right into my soul. I am mother to our daughter adopted last year at 8 years of age. Adoptive moms face many challenges and doubts so it is inspiring to read this. I especially like your quote “He knew exactly what you were capable – and incapable – of.” So often we “2nd” moms can feel unworthy (and many times unwanted) but I love this piece you wrote and rest assured in the knowledge that God chose ME to be her mom. She may have a birth mom who will always be in her heart but God knew what He was doing when He placed her in our life. Praise the Lord!
Thank you, Dawn, for your comments, and a bit of your story. I’m glad you pointed out that moms who have adopted are right there under God’s appointment as well. I’m sure you’d attest to the fact that it was a “God-thing” for you to get your daughter in the first place. Don’t ever forget that just as you chose YOUR little girl, God chose YOU, my friend. Keep being an instrument of His love in that little girl’s life. : )
Love this
Hi Cindi,
Such a great post and words of mother-wisdom! I knew God had blessed us with our two on purpose and was so grateful that He would be our Right Hand as we made the journey. More times than I can count I was on my knees praying for direction. Now that they are adults and doing well, I continue to be grateful for His guidance as they come to us in a different way. I am also grateful for resources like your book, “When A Mom Inspires Her Daughter”. I gleaned so many wonderful things from it:-)
Thanks, Chery. I look forward to gleaning some wisdom from you for the next book I am writing, called “Becoming a Worry-Free Mom.” I will email you the survey. : ) Please watch for it.
I would be honored to!
My daughter is frustrated. She is a very kind person. She has an 11 year old daughter who has a gentle nature like hers. She also has an 8 year old daughter who is very strong willed. This daughter’s moods can switch like turning on a light switch. She goes from happy to screaming. When she does seem to get some controls she is so upset with herself. She seems to be aware of her lack of controls. She expresses hate for herself. Do you have any suggestions for my daughter…books etc
Peggy, My book “When a Mom Inspires Her Daughter” would be very good for your daughter in helping her relate to her two daughters and to know what they need most from their mom.