Are you one to crumble at life’s circumstances?
Or do you allow them to make you stronger?
When life brings something painful or you simply feel like your life is falling apart, how you respond makes all the difference in the world. You and I can either react emotionally and escalate the drama of the situation. Or we can respond biblically and grow through it.
As I point out in my book, Drama Free, there are two kinds of drama in life: 1) The drama that life brings and God allows; and 2) The drama that we create through our reactions to life’s circumstances.
The drama that life brings is inevitable. Yet how we respond to it determines whether or not it will be fruitful in our lives in conforming us to the image of Christ. Our response to the drama also determines whether God gets the glory or we shine the spotlight on our frailties, insecurities, and emotional instability.
With help from God’s Word, plus some practical guidance, you and I can be drama free – even when the unthinkable happens. Even when you are clearly a victim. Even when life takes an unexpected turn and you are caught in an overwhelming whirlwind of circumstances that would make any person lose it. Even then.
Here are four ways that you can keep it together when it feels like your life is falling apart. (These four steps spell the word “CALM” which is what you can be if you practice them.)
C – Consider the bigger picture. Life – and therefore every circumstance you encounter – is meant to conform you to the image of Christ. We know this because Romans 8:28-29 tells us: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son….” Once you consider this, you can relax and realize God knows what He’s doing in the circumstances He’s allowing. And you can focus on passing the test, rather than failing it through unnecessary drama.
A – Acknowledge God is in control. You are not at the whim of the weather or the most likely predicted outcome. You are not going to consider “averages” or statistics. You are going to trust the God of miracles and whatever He decides to do or not do, for your greater good. Try taking a look at God’s track record in the stories of the Bible. People went through trial after trial, but when they acknowledged God’s control and remained faithful to Him in spite of their circumstances, they experienced deliverance, protection, comfort, and peace. God has an excellent track record of honoring those who trust Him.
L – Look for the lesson. The lessons are everywhere. And sometimes they aren’t the ones you think. Ask God to show you what He wants you to see in the moment, and then stay tuned to His instruction. I find it is helpful, and a reminder to me that God is working in my life, when I say aloud, “God, show me what You want me to see in this situation” or “Mold me through this, God,” or “Open my eyes to the truth of Who You are through this situation and my pain.” Maybe your short prayer is simply “Change me through this, Lord Jesus.” By acknowledging that God is doing something through our situation, we won’t miss the lesson.
M – Make it a point to praise. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18 we are instructed to “give thanks in all circumstances: for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Note that command says in allcircumstances, even the unexpected, uncomfortable, and unwanted circumstances. As we thank God for our circumstances – and for whatever He determines to do through them – it will change our perspective and make us people who anticipate His provision, rather than dread the worst. That is displaying faith, rather than demonstrating fear or doubt.
Which of these steps will you practice to stay CALM in the midst of life’s drama? I’d love to hear it in the comment section below.
(Don’t miss your last chance to get my book, Drama Free, for only $5 plus shipping cost. Sale on this book — and a few others you might not have yet — ends August. 1.)
Thank you for sharing this, Cindi. God is allowing me to go through the biggest drama of my life right now, and I am swinging wildly between crumbling and letting it make me stronger. Your words have encouraged me, confirming what I’ve heard from God in my times of crying out to Him. I need now to learn to live in faith that He is in control and He is working all of these things I’m going through together for good. He is faithful and will fulfil His promises to me; my part is to live that faith and not doubt any more. God bless you, Cindi; He has used you to give me courage to face today!
Thank you, Rachel, for your sweet response. It sounds like you are right where God wants you to be — fully surrendered to Him. Many times we are looking for the “outcomes” and the “fulfillment” of what we are going through, yet God is looking for the day-to-day obedience and faith that we exercise in Him in order to make us more like His Son. Trust the process. Trust HIM in the process. And go boldly into this situation, knowing your Savior, Conqueror, and King goes before you.
Fabulous timing Cindi! You are such a gift to us. You are there with us in our pain, with no judgment and offer true, practical, God-given wisdom we can use ASAP! Bless YOU! Bonnie
Thank you, Bonnie, for your kind, encouraging words. I praise God for His timing in knowing what you need to hear and when. 🙂
My Husband is cheating and he does not give me any money. I Have to ask or beg him for money.He takes his woman out of town on weekends.I want to LEAVE but my mom told never leave your home because you will loose my rights.My husband is doing horrible things.
Pinkie: I suggest you get counseling to learn how to erect boundaries around yourself and your marriage so your husband does not feel he can take advantage of you and your commitment to him. Your husband needs the accountability of a counselor, pastor, or even a good friend of the family (a relative or someone close to both of you?) to hold him accountable. No wife deserves, nor is expected by God, to endure cheating, deception, ill-treatment and stinginess financially. Please be strong, stand firm in what you will NOT allow and trust that God will fight for you. He doesn’t take it lightly when one of His “daughters” is being ill-treated in her marriage.
Okay, thank you Cindi. I’ve been out of a job for 2years now. I’ve started working from home 4months ago as an ESL Teacher online. I’m 56 and trying my hardest to start an illustration career, but I get very down because I don’t see anything happening. I’m not married, have any children or a job to support myself financially. I’ve been living of of my retirement. It’s very discouraging because I don’t want to go back to the same type of work I was doing, it was too stressful for me. I was fired 2years ago, I need the money. I see so many friends and family successful. I know God has his plan, but what is it? Doesn’t God want His children to be successful?
Gissy, I understand your discouragement. But let me start by saying this: God wants His children to be surrendered. Whatever that looks like.WE want to be successful. But God’s idea of success is when we are fully surrendered to Him. My book, When a Woman Discovers Her Dream, would probably be a great encouragement to you right now. It’s on sale in my website store through the end of this month. Let me know how that encourages you. You are in my prayers today.
Giving Thanks to God in all that I encounter in life, knowing that He is with me in the journey of this life; and He promised never leave me nor forsake me.
I we practice them all?
Thank you very much for this great knowledge and gracious libration. I am facing my wilderness and tries as am speaking but you have sparked up my faith
You’re right, you have to let God. Thank you. I like to read. I kNow I am going through some things now and for 14 long but God has been there all the time. I love him so.
My uncle’s wife has been unfair to us.She always lie against us and her husband believes him.What do l do to make my uncle understand that her wife is lying against us? Thanks.
I certainly don’t know enough about your situation — or your uncle and his wife — to give you advice. But be comforted with the assurance that God knows our hearts and intentions. He knows all things. Seek guidance through prayer and His Word and surrender this situation to Him. We get frustrated when we try to control situations that are out of our control. But God is in control and He can give you peace in the midst of this.
Hi Cindi,
I came across your ministry just 2 days ago and I already feel a soul connection and GOD telling me what I need to hear through your elegantly anointed words.
I have been going through the most difficult 2 Year’s of my life. As you said ,which has said it all to me , as a revelation, GOD wants us to grow day by day in faith and in His image… I wanted to see the solution for my pain. Amongst the many things I know about my Jesus , He is and always will be faithful.
It’s been a blessing discovering you and it’s only 2 days, can’t wait to continue fellowship and thank you for your wonderful teaching and encouragement clearly inspired by the Holy Spirit.
Marie: Thank you for leaving a note on my blog. I”m glad you found my blog and my ministry. Keep your eyes on Jesus during these difficulties and keep praising Him. He will give you a completely new perspective.
Thank you for those encouraging words Cindi. I am enduring one of the most difficult periods of my life. My 22 year old daughter, who was a committed Christian and worship leader for almost seven years, has walked away from God and has decided she wants nothing more to do with Him. For the past three months, I’ve been living a hell on earth. My daughter and I were always very close, it’s just the two of us, but since this happened, she has become very distant and disrespectful toward me. I feel she is highly influenced by some new friends of hers.
I’ve been finding encouragement in your blogs and a couple of your books. Please continue your ministry to women. We need it. God bless you.
Anne
Anne: I can’t imagine your heartbreak during this season of life. God loves your daughter even more than you do and He is waiting patiently for her return. Let’s trust Him wholeheartedly with that. I am praying, today, that God will intervene and pursue your daughter’s heart so she has no choice but to fall back into His loving arms. Thank you for keeping in touch.
I have been facing situations after situations in my life, when I think one is done and over with another arises. I have fallen short of God’s glory because I have allowed the emotions to take full control but I am a work in progress. God is indeed great!! Cindi, your steps are a great reminder and a must to apply especially for spiritual growth. It’s very helpful!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you greatly!
Kelly, you’re welcome. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. As you keep Jesus in the forefront and praise Him in spite of everything I think you’ll find your perspective changes and you are able, with His help, to get through anything. Thanks for your desire to grow spiritually through whatever God allows in your life. That encourages my heart. 🙂