• Home
  • Shop
  • Cindi’s Speaking
    • Cindi’s Event Schedule
    • Book Cindi for Your Event
    • Cindi’s Speaking Topics
    • What Cindi Believes
    • Endorsements
  • Coaching Services
    • Coaching Credentials / Endorsements
    • Fees For Coaching/Consulting Service
    • Do We Fit?
    • Cindi’s Coaching/Consulting Options
  • Blog
  • Videos
  • Encouragement
    • Articles of Encouragement
    • Encouragement for Couples
  • About Cindi
  • Contact
Type and hit ENTER
  • Home
  • Shop
  • Cindi’s Speaking
    • Cindi’s Event Schedule
    • Book Cindi for Your Event
    • Cindi’s Speaking Topics
    • What Cindi Believes
    • Endorsements
  • Coaching Services
    • Coaching Credentials / Endorsements
    • Fees For Coaching/Consulting Service
    • Do We Fit?
    • Cindi’s Coaching/Consulting Options
  • Blog
  • Videos
  • Encouragement
    • Articles of Encouragement
    • Encouragement for Couples
  • About Cindi
  • Contact
GET CONNECTED
retina-image
cart
  • Home
  • Shop
  • Cindi’s Speaking
    • Cindi’s Event Schedule
    • Book Cindi for Your Event
    • Cindi’s Speaking Topics
    • What Cindi Believes
    • Endorsements
  • Coaching Services
    • Coaching Credentials / Endorsements
    • Fees For Coaching/Consulting Service
    • Do We Fit?
    • Cindi’s Coaching/Consulting Options
  • Blog
  • Videos
  • Encouragement
    • Articles of Encouragement
    • Encouragement for Couples
  • About Cindi
  • Contact
  • 0 Items : $0.00cart
When You’ve Been Burned by ‘Love’…
Share
Spiritual Growth, Trusting God with Your Story

When You’ve Been Burned by ‘Love’…

October 15, 2012
-
Posted by Cindi

Having faced rejection from an abusive father, abandonment from an abusive husband, and then betrayal by a boyfriend she thought was the “real deal,” Becky asked “What’s wrong with me?”

But Becky, as many of us do, was asking the wrong question. The question is often not “What is wrong with me?” but “What is wrong with this representation of ‘love’?”

At the root of our hurts, as women, is what I call “distorted love.” We thought it was real. But then we were burned. We trusted it as love, but discovered it was manipulation. Sadly it can take several years, multiple relationships, and countless scars  to finally realize that true and perfect love exists only in the One who is truly perfect: Jesus Christ.  In my newest book, When a Woman  Overcomes Life’s Hurts, I point out that we can achieve healing and wholeness when we recognize the difference between real and distorted love. Distorted love says “what’s in it for me?” And real love, as demonstrated by God toward us, says “what can I give so that you can be free?”

In John 15:13, Jesus said: “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” And then Jesus did just that for us, whom He called His friends.

God also gives us a beautiful description of real love in First Corinthians 13:4-8 where we are told  that love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs and does not delight in evil. Furthermore, we are told that love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” and — get this — “love never fails.” So if someone promised you love but didn’t persevere, if they promised you love but changed their mind, if they told you they loved you but now they apparently don’t, LOVE did not fail, that person did.

Were you hurt by someone who distorted the meaning of love? Your heart can begin to heal when you realize the difference between distorted, manipulative, self-seeking love, and love that is sacrificial, unconditional and ever-present.

Don’t settle for less any longer. Set your standard higher by placing any claim of love  next to the sacrificial love of Jesus. Lay a description of that man or parent or friend against the Bible’s description of love in First Corinthians 13:4-8. Then ask God to show you His idea of love and protect you from anything that falls short of it.

I would love to hear from you. How have YOU protected yourself against distorted love?

October 15, 2012
5 Comments
Cindi
Cindi McMenamin is an award-winning author and national speaker who helps women find strength for the soul. She has nearly 35 years experience ministering to women and inspiring them to let God meet their emotional needs, grow stronger through their alone times, and pursue their dreams with boldness.
← PREVIOUS POST
How to forgive your offender
NEXT POST →
Our Lives are Not Our Own: Debunking the Myth that We're in Control

5 Comments

on When You’ve Been Burned by ‘Love’….
  1. Chery
    October 18, 2012 @ 11:27 am
    -
    Reply

    I protect myself against distorted love with I Corinthians 13:4-8 !!!

  2. Beth
    October 25, 2012 @ 7:00 pm
    -
    Reply

    I protect myself with daily prayer and reminding myself constantly Proverbs 3:5-6. I have to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. Every time I listen to myself..I get it all wrong.

    • StrengthSoul
      October 25, 2012 @ 7:02 pm
      -
      Reply

      Thanks, Beth, for those words of wisdom.

  3. linda
    November 7, 2012 @ 5:07 pm
    -
    Reply

    It hurt so much when you feel that someone might love you but he changed his mind so soon. You were picked up and then thrown away.

    Only God is always there and I can always talk to Him and I don’t need to be afraid of His rejection.

    • StrengthSoul
      November 7, 2012 @ 5:52 pm
      -
      Reply

      Linda, I hear your heart. And I hope it’s a comfort to you to know that God has experienced the hurt along with you. Nobody treats His daughter like that and gets away with it! Lean into Him because He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

Leave a Comment

Your feedback is valuable for us. Your email will not be published.
Cancel Reply

Please wait...
Submit Comment

Categories
Also Find Cindi on:

Cindi’s Books Also Available On:
kindlenook
Feeling Tired? Get Your God-Motivation Today! If Feeling Tired? Get Your God-Motivation Today!  If you're struggling with motivation this time of year, this hint from God's Word will help...
https://strengthforthesoul.com/feeling-tired-get-your-god-motivation-today/
I'm so thankful for you, my reader, and want you t I'm so thankful for you, my reader, and want you to  be the first to know -- 4 of my titles are at their lowest cost ever! https://strengthforthesoul.com/shop/
4 More Ways to Not Embarrass Your Adult Child: I 4 More Ways to Not Embarrass Your Adult Child: 
 If they'll be around your Thanksgiving table, here's how to not be annoying over the holidays. :) 
https://strengthforthesoul.com/4-more-ways-to-not-embarrass-your-adult-child/
How to Keep from Embarrassing Your Grown Child - I How to Keep from Embarrassing Your Grown Child - It happens but it doesn't have to. Be an inspiration, not an irritation, to your grown child by keeping these 4 things in mind....
https://strengthforthesoul.com/4-ways-to-keep-from-embarrassing-your-grown-child/
How to Keep it Together While the World Falls Apar How to Keep it Together While the World Falls Apart: 
When gas prices soar sky high and this country's morality and values sink to an all-time low, here's how to keep your focus and let your light shine: 
https://strengthforthesoul.com/how-to-keep-it-together-while-this-world-falls-apart/
4 Ways to Keep Jesus on the Throne of Your Life - 4 Ways to Keep Jesus on the Throne of Your Life - Has impatience, an addiction, or another person or their opinion become more important to you than Jesus? Here's how to reverse that: 
https://strengthforthesoul.com/4-ways-to-keep-jesus-on-the-throne-of-your-life/
3 Ways to Eliminate the 'Golden Calf' in Your Life 3 Ways to Eliminate the 'Golden Calf' in Your Life - Here's how to identify--and get rid of -- what you might tend to worship instead of the Living God: 
https://strengthforthesoul.com/3-ways-to-eliminate-the-golden-calf-in-your-life/
4 Ways to Biblically Empower Another Woman -- You 4 Ways to Biblically Empower Another Woman -- You can help your mom, sister, daughter, or friend with the power you have within yourself through Jesus. https://strengthforthesoul.com/4-ways-to-biblically-empower-other-women/
Find Your True Power and Identity as a Woman -- It Find Your True Power and Identity as a Woman -- It’s popular today to talk of harnessing your inner strength, but who are you really? And how much power do you actually have? Read more here: https://strengthforthesoul.com/finding-your-true-power-as-a-woman/
A Prayer to Start the Summer Well: Make this your A Prayer to Start the Summer Well: Make this your season of growing closer to Jesus. https://strengthforthesoul.com/a-prayer-to-start-the-summer-well/
4 Things to Do When You're Feeling on Edge: Frustr 4 Things to Do When You're Feeling on Edge: Frustrated at the world? Wanting a change? Here are four healthy things to do during this season of life: https://strengthforthesoul.com/4-things-to-do-when-youre-feeling-on-the-edge/
7 Ways to De-stress this Spring -- May can be a mo 7 Ways to De-stress this Spring -- May can be a more restful month with these practical tips. Read more at: 
https://strengthforthesoul.com/seven-ways-to-de-stress-this-spring/
Follow me on Instagram

SIGN UP FOR CINDI'S BLOG

  • ABOUT CINDI
  • PRIVACY POLICY

Copyright Strength for the Soul, 2018

When You’ve Been Burned by ‘Love’… | Strength for the Soul