Do you know what it’s like to ask God for something and to keep receiving a “no”?
I do. Whether I was trying to get a book published, trying to have a second child, or trying to pry open a door of opportunity, every time I received a “no” it was discouraging. But looking back now, that “no” was really God saying “wait — I have something better for you, instead.”
Sometimes God’s “no” is because He’s protecting us from what we don’t yet see. Other times it’s because He is waiting to give us something far better than we requested.
Hannah, a woman we read about in the Old Testament, knew the discouragement of God’s “no.” She longed to have a baby. Yet we find twice in the first few lines of her story that the reason for Hannah’s infertility was “because the Lord had closed her womb” (1 Samuel 1:5-6).
Ouch! That verse specifically tells us that the Lord was the One withholding from Hannah the one thing she wanted most in life.
We have a hard time wrapping our minds around the possibility that God would allow — or even arrange — certain difficulties to come our way. Yet that is one of the primary ways He awakens our need for Him, grows our dependence on Him, shapes our character, and draws us closer to Himself.
In Hannah’s case, she became so desperate for God, that she poured out her heart to Him in prayer and offered to give back to God this son whom she longed for. It was then, after Hannah’s surrender, that God gave her a baby. But not just any baby. Hannah had a son named Samuel who became one of Israel’s greatest prophets and priests, and who turned the nation’s heart back toward God. God waited for His timing so He could do so much more with Hannah’s request.
Scripture tells us that “Every good and perfect gift is from above…” (James 1:17). So if you’re praying for a “gift” and it’s not arriving, God is the One who, for some reason, is deciding to withhold that gift. And, I have learned through the years that some of God’s “gifts” to us are the very things He decides to withhold.
God’s “gifts” sometimes take the form of difficulties, losses, and outright pain. We don’t originally see them as gifts, but they are gifts, nonetheless, that are given to us to grow us to a new level in our spiritual life or to prepare us for something better that God has in store for us, or perhaps even to help us see something extraordinary about God that we couldn’t see before.
I remember not wanting to accept one of the “gifts” God was giving me. I struggled with not being able to have a second child (what doctors now refer to as secondary infertility). It was a struggle for me because I remember “claiming” Psalm 84:11 as my promise that I would have another child: “No good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly (NASB).”
Apparently what God considered a “good thing” in my life was not birthing a second child, but birthing a writing and speaking ministry, instead.
Through the years I’ve seen that God’s idea of a good thing (and ultimately what’s best for me in my faith walk with Him) may be completely different than mine. But I’ve also learned to not question the wisdom and actions of an all-knowing, all-loving God who is much more capable of managing my life than I am.
God has His reason for why He is withholding something from your life. And it’s not because He wants to punish you or make your life miserable. It’s not because He doesn’t love you or doesn’t see your tears. It’s very possible that He wants to bless you from another angle. And it’s very possible He wants you to realize that the one thing you need to be desperate for is Himself.
What have you longed for that God appears to be withholding? Let me know in the comments section below. I’d love to pray for your trust in that area.
I have been praying for God to bless me with a companion that will love me through all my faults and be genuine with me. Of course I want this man to be God fearing in all his ways. Sometimes I feel like something is wrong with me, when I look at others in their relationships. I have good days as I present this request to the Almighty father, sometimes I have bad days.
I understand, Natasha. I remember that feeling during my college years. But after some heartaches (because some dating relationships can be worse than having no relationships), I had to finally get to the point where I prayed “God, please be my First Love and fill me with Yourself. And please give me a husband only if he is one who will draw me closer to You.” I believe God honors that kind of surrender. Seek Him first and all these other things will fall into place (Matthew 6:33). Praying today is one of your good days. : )
I am single and jobless women.
Laiju: Thank you for letting me know what your prayer is before God. He knows your need. And I am upholding you in prayer today that He gives you wisdom and direction in where to find work and that He is faithful to provide for you as you honor Him.
A husband!!
Thanks, Kerri. : ) My prayer for you today is that you will see the Lord as your Spiritual Husband first and that God is already at work to bring you a physical husband as well, to cherish you, love you, and care for you and your family.
I have been waiting for God to give me a godly husband since forever and it still hasn’t happened. Three friends of mine recently got engaged and even though I am happy for them it really feels like a slap in the face. Why can God make it happen for them, but not me? Tears are streaming down my face as I am typing this… I regret to say that I have given into temptation and taken matters into my own hands and now I find myself in a relationship which does not honor God, which has made me compromise my sexual purity with a non-Christian man. Things are not working out with him the way I expected and I am asking God to help me do the right thing and walk away from it. I would appreciate your prayers as well. Thank you.
Thank you, Marcy, for your honesty. I truly believe as you surrender to Him in every area of your life and seek to honor Him, even if it means no relationship God will bless in extraordinary ways. You’re just in that place right now where it’s difficult to take that first step. Yes, I ampraying for you even now.
I have prayed for 19 years and have had many others pray for my husband to believe in Jesus. I know it’s in God’s timing and know God has blessed me and our two children 18 and 13 each and everyday, so wait on The Lord and live our lives so he can see Christ in us as best as we can. Both children have decided to follow Jesus. Like I said blessed:) Please pray for my husband
soul, and then pray for his health. He has had a difficult last two and a half years. Now has to take medicine that stops seizures, pray that the side effects from these drugs are not harmful to him in any way. Thank you so much for your prayers!!!
Thank you, Brenda, for your comments. I will join you in prayer for your husband’s salvation and that through his health situation he will come to know a dependence and trust in God.
I have been praying for years that my childrens father.. now my ex-husband.. would surrender to The Lord and fulfill the calling on his life. My prayers have changed throughout the years.. at one time they were more selfish and now I just truly want for Joe to know the love of God.. the peace and joy that come from trusting Him. I am still sad sometimes and wish that our family could be.. well.. just that.. A family. I know how much Joe loves us.. but his lifestyle is not safe for us. When someone chooses addiction over their family it hurts beyond words.
I understand, Wanda. I came from a home of two Christian parents PLUS addiction. It was very confusing. But today my father is 30 years sober and daily ministers to other recovering alcoholics. I want to encourage you with the hope that God CAN transform Joe’s life. My prayer for you today is that your hope will be in the Lord and what HE can do with Joe’s life and not in Joe and what Joe can or cannot do. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
God put in my heart years ago that I would move to California. My provision is there. He promised me my own design business. I am so ready to move. I’ve been praying and praying for years about this.
Thanks for your comment, Maria. I’m certain God has the perfect timing for this.
I have come down with a sickness for the third time that totally stops me. Twice I had Meningitis ten years apart and thought God was going to take me home but I came back and it took a long time. Know the first of June first it was a kidney infection and then it felt like meningitis. I could hardly turn over in bed or dress my self — so much pain. Went to doctor several times and then two weeks ago he said he thinks I have Polymyalgia rheumatica. ??? He put me on Predisone of which I didn’t want but I had a four-day little vacation planned and so I said “okay.” Well, it took a couple of days and I felt better. I am getting better and I go to doctor tomorrow to see what he says.
Now deep in my heart I think God is slowing me down but it so hard because when each of these things have happened I don’t seem to go to God first and later I feel bad that I didn’t totally rely on Him to heal me at first.
Thanks, Barbara. I think we all can relate to not going to God as quickly as we should with something that is bothering us, burdening us, or making our lives miserable. I think it comes with practice…when we practice going to Him FIRST with all that is on our hearts and minds, it becomes habit. Pretty soon, we realize there is no place else to go but to Him with whatever burdens our hearts.
Thank you Cindi for sharing yourself like you do. I had 3 miscarriages and two precious children, barely holding onto the second. One by cesarean, and the other by emergency cesarean. We wanted to have another baby and God said “NO”. I was devastated and cried for 2 weeks. What I didn’t know at the time was that God would be bringing MANY children into my life through my work and church work. He has blessed me richly in that! As for your question, it would be income. We long for enough income to just make our simple ends meet.
Thank you, Chery, for that sweet story of how God withheld more children from you, but ended up giving you “a lot more” but in a different way. Beautiful illustration of the point I was hoping to make. I will be praying for God’s provision for you and your family. I understand that prayer request, especially as of late as my husband is transitioning into a new job/career field and the transition is a slow one. God has us depending on Him from day to day. Thanks again for your comment.
Thank you for your prayers, they are a gift to me:-) I will add the two of you to my prayer list as your husband embarks on this new journey.
Thanks, Chery. And bless your heart for keeping up with all my blog posts and commenting on each one. You are such a blessing and encouragement.
I’ve been praying for several months for God to heal my entire body and cast out all my sickness and major severe health issues that have made my captive of my body and my health spiraling down and just getting worse. I have a lot of back pain issues like arthritis, bulging disk, scoliosis, degenerative disc disease, chronic sciatic and my left and right side and need to have surgery but can’t afford it and I’m in constant pain. I also have severe problems in my entire digestive system where my organs have stopped functioning and cause me so much miserable pain and agony to where I can’t eat I’m very malnourished and my body isn’t absorbing any nutrients. My thyroid and adrenal glands aren’t working as well along with a lot of other health issues. I’ve had digestive issues for 10 years and just gotten severely worse in the last year. I’m seeing 3 different doctors to find the route cause to all my issues and doing everything on my part that I can to get healthy and I’m just getting worse. All these issues are literally keeping me from living. I can’t leave the house and actually live. I haven’t been able to serve on my ministry team at church or go to my SHE group woman’s bible study, and my life group and being able to attend church. I’m trying to fight though each day and lean on the Lord but I get so discouraged and can’t understand why the Lord hasn’t touched me and healed me. I’m so lost and confused. It makes me feel like I’m not faithful enough for the Lord to bless me with healing so that I can live my live according to his plan instead of wasting away.
Ilena, I’m so sorry to hear that you have been suffering so much. It reminds me of the story in the Bible of the woman who hemorrhaged for years and became so desperate for God’s healing touch (Mark 5:25-34). I wrote about that story in my book, Women on the Edge, and challenged my readers to be that desperate for God in their everyday lives, no matter what their issues. I don’t know why you are suffering in this way, but I know that God has His reasons and perhaps He is wanting to be your all-in-all right now, your life, your focus. I know that there aren’t many words I can say that will make you feel better so I will just say that I am praying for you this evening, for you to feel His presence, His love, His comfort and His purposes for your life. Thank you for sharing your story with me, Ilena.
Thank you!
I just read those verses and my story is very much like hers and what your telling me does make sense. I feel like God is teaching me a lesson through this and I’m trying to figure out what that is, maybe trusting him more and having deeper faith. Thank you for your kind words, encouragement, and prayer.
God is working in you a testimony of how He is sustaining you, my friend. Stay strong in Him. And I will keep you in my prayers today.