Would you take a challenge with me this week?
It involves spending more time with another person than you might be spending with your phone.
It involves consulting God first, rather than Google, and looking for ways to incorporate eye contact, your voice (rather than typing or texting), and physical touch that doesn’t involve a keyboard. I want nothing more than for you to discover God’s prescription for a far more joyful—and far less lonely—life. And it starts with this challenge to connect more closely with God and those around you.
Think of three activities you do with just you and your phone and do them with a real live person instead.
It’s not a novel concept. But it will take some work because we are far more prone to depending on our electronic devices than we realize. And this ultra-dependence on high tech is deteriorating our in-person relationships.
Studies show that the more we connect with our devices, the more we tend to disconnect from others. And in my book, The New Loneliness, I let you know how this is affecting you and how you can reverse this trend.
So here’s the challenge…
- Do you often pick up your phone—or unlock your ipad or laptop—to scroll through social media in order to be “in the know”? Catch up with a friend by calling them to talk or better yet, arranging a time to meet with them in person. You’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel after a real call with someone in which you’ve heard their voice and had a verbal exchange, rather than just observing their life through their pictures or responding by typing out a few words on your keyboard.
- Have you been inundated with work to where you are constantly in front of a screen and haven’t really turned your head to look into the eyes of someone else who might need to be heard or to see someone’s eyes, instead of a screen? Plan increments of time where you won’t be on your phone or electronic device but will be in front of a face, instead (your child, a friend, a co-worker?). Or, leave your device to go outside, look at all God has created, and start a conversation with Him. You’ll be refreshed at the break from your routine just by a change of location and being in front of God’s creation—whether it is something in nature or another person walking by.
- Have you been struggling with something and searching everything there is on the internet to find answers? How about consulting God first, rather than Google? Seriously. Spend some time pouring out your heart to Him and asking for guidance from His Word. As you give God your concerns, the promise in Philippians 4:6-7 to worry about nothing, and “instead, pray about everything” (NLT) will hold true. You’ll find that as you pray, panic exits your heart and peace moves in for a while – til the next time worry starts to beat your door down, at which time you pray again and that worry monster leaves. God can also bring wise people across your path to help you solve a problem or answer a question. Don’t miss the excitement of praying about something and seeing God come through in ways you didn’t expect.
As you seek to deepen your relationship with God and others, many times at the cost of ignoring your device for a while, you will be able to overcome those deeper feelings of loneliness that are inhabiting our hearts the more we connect with our devices, rather than the people in our lives. Yes, people can be difficult at times. But so can you and me. Extend grace. God does. And as you do, God will give you the courage to expand your circle of friends or just change the way you approach life so that human touch, eye contact, a comforting voice, and a warm hug can replace what used to be a cold solitary habit in your life—spending time alone with your device and not someone else.
How will you be more intentional this week about spending more time with a person than your phone? I’d love to hear it in the comment section below. And check out my newest book, The New Loneliness, which is about moving beyond this ultra-reliance on tech to connect more closely with God and those He has placed in your life for a reason.
I’ve made it a point to put my phone down a lot this year to do other things. I was at Urgent Care yesterday and I sat there watching everybody on their phones while mine was put away. At one point I thought, this is not good. But I was also sitting next to a lady who was reading a book. That’s more like it. We started talking some, then her son was done and they went on their way.
I now, don’t pick up my phone unless it’s needful and I talk back to it, if it rings or dings, saying, “not now.” LOL
When I’m with people I pray they put their phones away so we can talk about things of the Lord. Sometimes it works and sometimes not.
I’m putting myself through more disciplines this year. So far so good.
So glad you are practicing this discipline to be more aware of the people around you. It never hurts to extend toward others. Proud of you, Ramona. And thanks for your faithfulness in reading and responding to my blog. Have a great week!
You are welcome. Looking forward to reading your new book.