Are you feeling lonelier these days than you used to? Experiencing that unexplainable ache you can’t seem to get rid of? Perhaps you’re spending more time with your phone than with people and you don’t want to think about how that might’ve happened.

In a time when we should feel super connected with one another because of technology, we are actually more lonely than we’ve ever been. Maybe you used to feel closer to God and some of your friends than you do today and you don’t know how to reverse that.

Due to habits we developed from the COVID lockdowns, reliance on AI, and the convenience of looking online for everything from mascara to relationships, we are far less connected with others than we used to be. We now tend to look at screens more than faces and text more than talk. The result? Fewer heart-felt conversations. Even less transparency. Much more loneliness.

Whether your loneliness is caused by your work or living circumstances, a subconscious preference for internet rather than interpersonal connections, a misunderstanding or falling out with someone, or feeling inadequate, unprepared, unsupported, or overwhelmed, you and I were never designed to live this way.

Jesus came to offer us purpose and life (John 10:10), not pain and loneliness. In close relationship with Him, we can experience not only joy and contentment, but more fulfilling relationships with others as well.

In my newest book, The New Loneliness, I help you connect more closely with your Maker and the spiritual family He designed for your support and encouragement.   These three steps from my book are a great start to living healthier, happier, and more connected with God and others:

1. Reconnect with God.
   There’s a difference between believing in God and wholeheartedly trusting Him with your everyday life. When we begin to trust Him and His character, we can more readily extend toward and trust others. Every day this week, repeat to yourself these three truths about God:
   • He is with me.
   • He is for me.
   • He has a reason why I’m here.
   Then get to know Him by getting into His Word and discovering Who He is and what He’s capable of. (A good place to start is in the book of First John). When you start to really connect with God through His Word and a focus on His character, you’ll find your value in Him, as well as the priority He set for your life—to love Him with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love others as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39). With a better understanding of who you are and why you were created, you will be more equipped to resolve whatever is causing your feelings of loneliness.
2. Re-evaluate your heart and hurts.
   Have you surrendered to God your past hurts, insecurities, and feelings of inadequacy—all which can interfere with enjoying healthy relationships? We are all wounded in some way and left with scars of betrayal, abandonment, broken relationships, insecurity, or wondering if we are really loved for who we are. These scars can cover longtime hurts we didn’t know we had, and keep us from developing deeper friendships with others. Sometimes, out of a fear of being hurt, we keep those who extend toward us at a distance and thus it’s easier to text than talk or communicate via a screen rather than face to face. As you seek to better understand who you are in the light of God’s grace, forgiveness, and transformation, you can more easily trust those whom God brings your way and start developing more meaningful relationships with them. Start by asking God to take inventory of your heart and your hurts, while you remember He is the God who makes all things new—even you! (2 Corinthians 5:17).
   3. Reach out to others in the body of Christ.
   Who haven’t you connected with in a while because you’ve been so busy? Do you have a trusted Christian friend you can talk with when your loneliness creeps in? How long has it been since you’ve felt connected with a group of believers in a local church? Personality differences and misunderstandings are inevitable—even in the church. But as you put yourself in the position, literally, where God can surround you with like-minded believers, you can grow spiritually and emotionally and not feel as lonely.

I encourage you to pray and push through the hesitation to connect, and find yourself equipped by the Lord to encourage, serve, and extend grace toward others in the kind of meaningful community God intended. And as you do, you will find yourself less lonely.

Which of these three steps will you focus on this year? I’d love to hear it in the comment section below.

(Order The New Loneliness: Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated now at Amazon’s low price or get a signed copy in my website store.)