Yesterday morning I interviewed a woman for my upcoming book, When God Sees Your Tears. Amanda is one who has experienced many tears, especially in the last year. She and her 2 1/2 year-old- daughter had to suddenly go on with life after her husband, a pastor, was shot and killed in his own church last year.
Throughout our interview, this 31-year-old woman could have vented about a beautiful life cut short, about a marriage interrupted, about a daughter who will grow up without her beloved daddy. She could have had an edge of bitterness from having her husband ripped away from her just as they were beginning to realize their dreams together. She could have sworn off service to God for the rest of her days because of what it ultimately cost her, her husband, and their family.
But throughout the conversation her words sounded more like a soft symphony of trust, unwavering faith and….hope.
“God definitely orchestrated that part of it,” she said, as she recounted precious details of her husband’s last moments before slipping into eternity. “I definitely think God had been preparing our hearts for this,” she told me, as she recounted conversations between her and her husband in the weeks prior to him being taken from this earth.
After hanging up the phone with Amanda, I could not help but wonder if I would I be that prepared, that peaceful, that trusting, if tragedy were to suddenly strike my own family.
My only daughter, Dana, has been on a service project in the country of Kosovo for the past two weeks. I will not hear from her again until she arrives back in the U.S. in another seven days. What if I were to get the devastating news that what is most precious to me is now in God’s hands…and I will never touch hers again this side of heaven? It’s difficult to even imagine. Yet there are those who have had to walk that path of losing a child, a husband, a loved one…and those of us who wonder if we someday will.
Tragedy could strike any of us at any time. We hear of it happening to others and at times we wonder when our day will come. Pain is a part of life because we live in a fallen world. But how we handle what is dealt us in this life determines our legacy. Will we trust that whatever we go through, God has gone before us and will continue to carry us ’til our journey on this earth is over?
I want to be one, like Amanda, who is able to say (as Job once did): ‘Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him….”
So, today I ask myself: Where is my heart when it comes to trusting my Lord with ALL things – -both the expected and the unexpected? Where is yours?
God, solidify my trust in You so that when the unthinkable happens, NOTHING comes between the two of us.
This is a beautiful story of Gods Grace and the hope of a praying wife. I am no stranger to grief. My husband began his new life with Christ in 2007 when he suffered a fatal heart anneurism. I instantly became a 36 year old widow. I wish I could say I kept the faith from the very beginning but shock soon turned into bitterness, and bitterness into anger towards God. A wise doctor once told me God was big enough to handle my feelings and that helped me deal with the cycle of anger and guilt I was putting myself through. I understood I could be angry and not sin. I could tell God how I felt and still follow and trust Him. Since then I have remarried and we now have a beautiful adopted daughter who just turned 8 years old. Life is good even though pain still visits. I experienced a miscarriage in May but I grieve with hope. I will see my late husband and my little baby one day. God is good. All the time. Thank you for sharing this story.
Thank you, Dawn, for sharing those encouraging words. I have yet to tell a lot more of Amanda’s story (in my upcoming book) but there were days when she, too, was angry at the circumstances and the way life appeared to be turning out. We all go through stages of grief…and yours — especially the shock at the beginning — is very normal. Thank you for your reminder that when it looks like life is falling apart, God still has blessings stored up for us. : )
These are very encouraging stories. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for reading and commenting, Rose. 🙂