It’s that time of year again when there’s too much to do and there’s only one of you.
If the responsibilities are mounting and deadlines are closing in, and the plates you’re juggling are beginning to fall, you’re going to be running on empty soon, so something’s gotta give.
You and I were not designed to do it all, have it all, or run it all. In fact, God’s words to “Be still” (Psalm 46:10) might be your life-saver going into this holiday season if you heed them well and consider your health, happiness and relationships as more important than everything you think needs to get done.
To keep your health, relationships, and sanity from spinning out of control in the next couple of months, here are three things that need to go:
- Your guilt feelings for not doing it all.
You are not God. And therefore, you are not expected to do it all. So, when it comes to letting some things go, let go of your guilt first. There’s nothing wrong with telling someone “I’m sorry. I’m overbooked at the moment.” It’s also not a sin to humble yourself and admit “I bit off more than I could chew. I’m sorry I didn’t realize my limitations, but now I do. I am going to need to back out or get some assistance.”
Spend a little time in God’s Word each day to reinforce to you who you are in His eyes. You are not of value to Him for what you do,but for who you are – His beloved, saved by grace when you surrender your heart and will to His Son, Jesus. As I say in my book, When Women Long for Rest, God would rather have you spend time with Him, than do a bunch of things for Him. Carve out a few minutes each morning with God first and you may find you not only have more time to do other things throughout the day, but your guilt feelings for not “doing” will fade away into the joy you have by simply “being.”
2. Your pride that keeps you from asking for help.
Shed the Superwoman complex. No one expects you to be the sole provider, rescuer, and savior of the day. You have a God – who is your Provider, Rescuer, and Savior – who wants you to depend on Him, not yourself. So, surrender your pride and start asking Him – and others – for help.
You and I were not designed to run solo. We were created to live and work in community. We all need help, support, encouragement, and a team. In addition to depending on God for help, find your team – those who can help you out in a bind and also remind you when you don’t need one more thing to do. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Instead of living by the motto “When all else fails, ask for help” reject that and live by this motto instead: “To keep from failing miserably, ask for help.”
3. Your desire to please everyone.
Sometimes we run ourselves ragged trying to please everyone. But it’s a fact that you can’t please all the people all the time. Proverbs 18:24 says “A man of too many friends comes to ruin.” I believe that means when we try to please everyone, we end up pleasing no one. Choose whom you will disappoint each day by knowing who the priority people are in your life and protecting them by giving them your best. When you please and serve those you love the most, you won’t feel drained by trying to be there for everyone.
Sometimes it’s as easy as learning to say “no” to someone or something that wasn’t already scheduled into your day. As Jesus-followers, we want to be available for the “divine appointments” God might send our way, but we won’t be able to say “yes” to God if we are constantly saying “yes” to everyone else. Ask God each day to give you a desire to please Him first, and get in the habit of bringing to Him the unexpected requests you get, to make sure they aren’t interfering with what He has for you.
Which of these can you let go of right now so you can sail more smoothly into the holiday season? Please let me and my readers know in the comment section below.
Thanks very much,I needed this at this moment of my life.
Couldn’t have come at a better time. Thank you.
You’re welcome, Kim, Linda and Monique. Next month, as it gets closer to the onset of the holidays, I’ll be posting “4 more things that need to go so you’re not juggling it all.” Watch for it. 🙂
Oh, Cindi, I’m going thru grieve right now with the passing of my husband of 49 1/2 years. I needed those 3 things so badly. I am going thru therapy with a wonderful professional therapist. It’s a work in progress, but it HAS to work. First time being alone ever!!!! Thank you so much for all your great posts. Hugs, Barb
Thank you, Barbara, for your sweet words that remind me to be thankful to God every day for my ministry.
Thanks so much
Thank you this was right on time it help me so much . God bless you Thank you
Cindi, your spiritual postings makes my day every day life, God Bless you and increase your ministry
Thanks for this short but important list. Guilt is something I’ve been working to remove & lately it’s getting so much easier because I’m truly working on my mental & emotional health. I’ve been stuck for a long time from childhood trauma but recently, I’ve been seeing myself as God sees me. Strong, intelligent & able.
Thanks, Kathryn, for taking the time to comment. I’m glad you’re starting to see yourself as God sees you. I’ll be running a post called “4 more things that need to go so you’re not juggling it all” in another couple of weeks…watch for it. 🙂
I just got to read this today – because as you know my life is so busy and full of family to take care. I so needed this because here lately I am just plain worn out…I do have horrible guilt here lately that I can be there for all that need me, it breaks my heart…I don’t want to bother others by asking for help, because I know they have a lot to take care of also…I do try to please everyone because I have been so hurt in the past it just seems to be my way of life… thanks so much for all that you do – your newsletters and books are such a blessing.
This was very timely..Thank you. Thank God. Numbers 1 & 3 really describe me especially 3. That’s nearly destroyed a few times. I need to learn the NO word, without the guilt and ask God to really show me how He sees me. I need to learn to Be Still & know He is God. I also want to just be like Mary sitting at His feet without the guilt. Thanks so much.
I have way too much on my plate and just can’t bring myself to walk away, make that break. Some nights I feel Im having a heart attack and not going to make it till morning. Many nights I do not go to bed at all. My prayer life stinks. I try praying and get nowhere for any length of time so my prayer life is a few words of admiration or asking for help throughout the day.
I took on an “extra” job over two years ago to help a good friend but it has gone on and on. This friend only has 30% of her heart working now and her husband has not walked in 6 years and now finally gne to a nursing home. I already had 2 full time jobs and didn’t need this. It is affecting me physically and spiritually big time and very little financial benefit. I could never say no to my mother growing up and now I feel I have another mother in my life because I can’t say no here either. I know what I need to do but every day is a battle. I rehearse what I am going to say, the letter I am going to write, and then the phone rings and Im “needed”. I’m so weak. We were taught to be workaholics and most of my family are. My parents were still working in their 80’s and were devastated when forced to give up their business that they ran for over 60 years. Dad died 2 months after turning the business over to a sister who worked and waited over 30 years to take the business over. I need a knock over the head or something. Don’t tell me to pray about this because I have. I know its up to me.
Bernice, thank you for your honesty. I’m sure some of my readers can relate. There is true joy in resting….to rest is to trust…to trust that God will take care of all that we think we must, and all that we know we can’t. 🙂 I wish you rest…and trust in Him.