Call it my “dysfunction” but I used to try to please everyone around me. Life is less stressful, I thought, if everyone around me is happy. Yet, trying to please everyone is one of the key ingredients to feeling over-scheduled, stressed, or burnt out.
There is only one of you. And there are millions of needs, causes and jobs out there calling for your attention. There are demands on your schedule every time you turn around. Therefore you must know Whom you are trying to please so you end up doing only those things He calls you to do.
It may help to discern what God is calling you to do — as opposed to what your church, or your parents or your boss or your friends or your children or your own guilt is calling you to do — by asking yourself, “What responsibilities can only be fulfilled by me?”
- Only you can cultivate your personal relationship with the Living God. (His first and greatest commandment is that we love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength — Matthew 22:37.)
- Only you can love your husband and take care of him physically, emotionally, sexually. (God’s second greatest commandment is that we love our neighbor as ourselves. And your neighbor is the one who lives closest to you — Matthew 22:39.)
- Only you can parent your children.
- Only you can minister to others in the unique way that you do, whether it be writing, singing, teaching, care-taking, and so on. (For more on this concept, see my book, When a Woman Discovers her Dream: Finding God’s Purpose for Your Life.
I think you get the idea. There is only one of you. And there are so many people, opportunities, and needs out there clamoring for your attention. Be the woman who knows where her “yes” is and therefore is able to say “no” to the things that someone else can just as easily do.
Live wisely this week…and keep from running on empty — when you know Whom it is you are called to please and what it is He is calling you to do.
Amen! Oh, this is so true and this is exactly what is going on right now in my life. God is making my priorities crystal clear. This post really confirmed that! Thanks, Cindi!
Thanks for your comment, Nicole. I’m excited to hear how God blesses your life as you restructure your priorities to do what ONLY YOU can do.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your post was spot on for me. With the new perspective of looking at what “only I can do” it makes it so much easier to say no and feel okay about it. Also it keeps me from over committing myself.
Thanks, Roween. I’m glad you received confirmation through that. : )
My belief is if someone is looking for something, God is always there for all of us and our needs. He will always love us and take care of us all like the perfect father does to his children. We must surrender all our our problems to Him, get honest to Him and love God with all of our hearts.
Yes, Osmar. Jesus said when we seek first HIS kingdom and HIS righteousness, all the other things we worry about and need will fall into place (Matthew 6:33). Thanks for reading.
You made a statement above which reads, “Only you can parent your children.”
As a parent of a special needs child/adult, I learned long ago to keep everything inside like a turtle and talk to God.
One cannot please everybody.
Good to hear from you, Kristy. The exception to “only you can parent your child” is something I know you’ve learned already: God parents that child with you. Thanks for sharing your heart. May God continue to guide you as you hold in your heart those moments, conversations and situations that only your Savior understands. : )