Christmas can be a lonely time if you have unmet expectations, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, or if you’re unable to spend it with someone you love this year.

But there’s hope.

Not only do you have Someone with you, who loves you more than you can fathom, but He can equip you to take these simple steps to lessen the loneliness and bring on the joy.

In my newest book, The New Loneliness, I share some practical steps you can take every day to start nurturing a closer connection with Godnand develop deeper friendships with others. I know that might sound exhausting right now, but each step here is simple and worth it…and will bring you closer to your Savior and closer to experiencing joy this Christmas.

1. Remember the One who always has time for you.

 Everyone is busy this time of year. And we can feel that we are putting pressure on others if we really want to be with them but don’t know how to express it. I’ve found that when my heart needs something, the first One I go to is my Lord, by praying this:

“Jesus, where are these hurtful and lonely feelings coming from? Help me to remember You love me more than any other. And please send an encouraging word or touch from someone as a reminder that You still care.” Each time I pray that, God answers it in some way, because Scripture tells us when we call upon Him, He answers—no matter how big or small the request. Be honest with Him, praise Him for always having time, and then start looking for how He can meet your needs on His own, or through someone He may send your way.

2. Realize your feelings might not be telling you the truth.

You’ve probably often heard me say: “Focus on the facts, not the feelings.” That’s because our feelings can lead us down a dark tunnel of despair where we need the light of God’s truth to lead us back out. The truth of God’s Word is that He loved us enough to send His Son to die for us. And we were created with the purpose to love Him and enjoy Him forever. The enemy of your soul likes to distort that truth with lies about your weaknesses, inadequacies, and failures, especially when it comes to relationships. But you don’t have to believe those lies. Acknowledge that your feelings exist and then ask God to shed His light on them. Do you feel overlooked? Perhaps someone else is just busy. Do you feel slighted? Perhaps someone else is going through something far more difficult than you realize. Do you feel unsupported? Perhaps the enemy of your soul is distorting what someone else is saying or how they are responding to you.

When your feelings start getting the best of you, turn to the songs in Scripture. Read through some Psalms and notice how they include the feelings of the songwriters and focus on the righteous character of God who can meet any need, solve any problem, and rescue any believer as they call upon Him.

3. Reach out and encourage someone.

Sometimes we feel extra lonely, extra disappointed, extra down, because we are focusing on how others are failing to meet our expectations. But I’ve found that when I get in a slump, God whispers these words to my heart: Encourage someone. It could be a text you send to lift someone up. It could be a smile and a kind word you offer to a stranger as you’re out and about. It could be picking up the phone and leaving a voice message, or telling someone briefly how much they mean to you and that you are praying for them. Wow! How God can encourage our hearts personally when we take the initiative to reach out to someone else with the goal of encouraging or serving them.

Philippians 3:3 commands us to “do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves.” What if we were to, for the moment that we’re feeling down, consider someone else’s emotional state as more important than our own? Your feelings are very important to God, but they sometimes might not be based on reality. You might feel no one cares, but as you start to serve others, God then brings joy to your heart and shifts your perspective into reality: He loves you, others love you, and you were created to serve and glorify Him. In His love, He has a way of gently letting us know that we are loved, but sometimes need to focus a little more on how others are feeling so He can minister to our hearts—and someone else’s heart—through us.

Don’t you love the way He cares for us, down to the very details of our hearts? Have a joyous Christmas, friend. You are not alone. You are overwhelmingly loved.

For more on how to discover a less lonely and more joyful life, see my newest book, The New Loneliness: Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated, now at its low introductory price.