Ever wonder why moms and daughters tend to clash? If they’re alike they can butt heads. If they’re different, they can misunderstand each other. But that’s just my opinion.
My daughter, Dana, had some insights to share in our book, When a Mom Inspires Her Daughter. And she shared them from the stage, at my Book-Signing Talk & Dessert last week at Valley Bible Church where my husband (and her Dad) pastors.
If you weren’t able to join us, this is what Dana had to say:
“I think one reason mothers and daughters have a difficult time dealing with certain issues is because one will want to talk about it and the other won’t. When mothers and daughters are alike, they can tend to clash, especially if they are both strong-willed and independent, and each wants to get their message across first. Also, it they are both having their periods, then everything is magnified ten times over! Women are naturally emotional, so for two women to come together and work things out can get difficult sometimes. And between a mother and daughter it can get especially challenging!
“One particular challenge is that daughters can be different than their moms expect because of the way they are like their fathers. Mothers don’t have genes and personality traits from their husbands, but their daughters do. So mothers will start to see traits of the father in their child. In my case, I have my dad’s sense of humor and introverted personality. When I make a joke, sometimes my mother doesn’t understand and gets offended, whereas my dad will laugh it off and joke along with me. Sometimes mothers don’t understand why their daughters act so differently from them, but one reason is because the father helped make the child, too. A child is going to have traits from both mom and dad, so she is going to be different…something the mother wont always understand because she doesn’t possess those traits. The mom simply marries the man, but the child has his DNA!”
There you have it. Your child is going to be different from you — in many ways. Appreciate your children’s uniqueness. Celebrate their differences. They are uniquely who God designed them to be.
I’d love to hear the ways your son or daughter is like you…and how they’re different from you. Dana made a whole chart of our similarities and differences (page 28 in the book) and had fun doing it. I think you might enjoy it, too.
A wonderful picture of the two of you! I enjoyed reading Dana’s insights…she shows such wisdom:-) That is one way she is like you, Cindi.
Here we go aagain. Make the dad look good and make the mom look bad.
Sounds to me like you are trying to make the mom an outcast. I am sorry but this is so wrong. There are more things that the daughter will have in common with the mother. Why must we always try to make the husband /dad look like gold and wife/mother looklike the wicked witch? . Please do not write anymore articles that puts the mom on the other side of the fence. She is most important parent for a daughter, contrary to the popular belief held by men. Mom is the one who carried and birthed the child and the one who the child would cling to. There was a time in her babyhood when the child wanted to be with mom more than dad anyway. Where is your article for that? Or are you all apart of those people in this country who don’t want to bash dad but gladly bash mom? Be fair!!
Zaylie, I’m sorry you misunderstood the point behind my blog post and I certainly didn’t mean to offend you in any way. I pointed out some of my own mistakes to show what daughters really need in moms and how God’s grace is there to help moms. If you were to read my book, “When a Mom Inspires Her Daughter,” you would see how much importance I do put on the mother-daughter relationship and how very impacting a mom’s life is to her daughter…thus the lessons, encouragement, and need for us to inspire and affirm them. I have received emails from Dads saying “Where is the part about a dad’s influence in a daughter’s life?” My goal is always to encourage moms because I do get a lot of questions from moms about how they can improve the mother-daughter relationship.