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Every week for the past ten years, I’ve received at least one or two emails asking me for marriage or relationship advice.

And while there are thousands of books out there on the topic — and a thousand  more reasons why women struggle in their relationships — I’ve found that what has most helped my marriage of 28 years — and thousands of other marriages and relationships as well — is  best summarized in my book, When a Woman Inspires Her Husband

“The quickest way to run your marriage into the ground is to expect your husband to be God in your life — to fill your every need, to know what you’re thinking and feeling and be able to respond accordingly, to be your joy, to be your all-in-all. He is a man. He is not able to be all of that for you. He is human, and that means he has weaknesses and will let you down at times. Finally, he is a sinner (as all of us are), and that means he will disappoint you, anger you, and even hurt you more times than he or you would like. So don’t look to your husband to be God in your life, or to fulfill your every need. Instead, look to God as your spiritual husband (Isaiah 54:5-6).

“God’s Word frequently uses the marriage relationship to illustrate God as our husband. God desires to be a husband to us and have us respond, in return, as we would respond to a husband — to forsake all other gods and love only Him, to respect Him, to dwell intimately with Him, to look to Him for our provision, and so on. There is nothing that will free up your husband to love you more than taking your emotional expectations off of him and leaving them with God. Your husband can then love you in the best way he is able, without feeling he has an impossible task in front of him. (For an in-depth look at this subject, see my book, Letting God Meet Your Emotional Needs.)”

Whether we are married or not, as we look to God first to fill our emotional tank, we will find we are more able and stable to deal with whatever comes our way. And that makes us more appealing women to be around.

It’s been said that a woman should be so deeply immersed in God that a man has to seek Him in order to find her.

Immerse yourself in Him this week. And watch the benefits of it in your relationships.

Do you ever worry about finding someone? Keeping someone? Marrying someone?

As Valentine’s Day approaches, you or someone you know might be wondering if God has forgotten about you when it comes to a love relationship in your life. But God is even more concerned about your relationship status than you are.

God gave us relationships to mirror the kind of relationship He wants to have with each of us (Ephesians 5:30-32). So He wants our relationships to be healthy and God-honoring. He gives us friendships, so we can understand unconditional love. He designed the marriage relationship, so we can understand the concept of dying to self and giving of oneself completely to another. He has given us parent-child relationships, so we can understand the fierce, protective love that won’t falter regardless of what our children do.

But I truly believe God wants us to cultivate an intimate relationship with Him above any other so we can know where to begin in cultivating relationships with others. If we don’t know how to love and be loved by God, we’ll suffer in our other relationships.

God tells us to seek His kingdom first and all these other things we are concerned about will fall into place (Matthew 6:33). So, if you are seeking Him and still wondering why He has left you single, let me encourage you with these 5 reasons you don’t need to worry about love:
1. God may be protecting you from something you can’t yet (and might not ever) see.
2. God may be waiting for the right time to bring someone far better into your life than you had thought to ask for.
3. God realizes you may be far happier and content now than if you DID have someone in your life. (Yes, it’s true. Some people are actually more miserable after marrying than before.)
4. God knows He is the Only One who can fulfill you completely. So He may be keeping you where you are until you know what it means to be complete in His love.
5. God promises that He works ALL things (relationships included) for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Can you trust that God knows best when it comes to sharing your heart? Then, as Philippians 4:6 instructs:

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”

As you do this, you can go boldly into Valentine’s Day, knowing your relationship status is “fully loved” when it comes to God.

For more on living a worry-free life, see my new book, 10 Secrets to Becoming a Worry-Free Mom, now available in my online store.

two hands symbolizing recapture your husband's heartAre you wondering how to recapture your husband’s heart?

In my ongoing blog series “Questions Women Ask,” one reader wrote:

“I want to restore my marriage to greater than before. This is a second marriage for the both of us and we have a lot of things fighting against us — ex-spouses, children, and other things the enemy uses against us. How can I win back my husband’s heart & restore my marriage?”

And another reader wrote:

I’m in empty nest now. It’s different. Time for me and my husband to reconnect. I want to make him happy in every way. Help! I want him to want me like he did when he met me!

In my book, When a Woman Inspires Her Husband, I point out some simple ways to resuscitate the romance and recapture your husband’s heart. I refer to it as performing CPR on our husbands to help them “get back that loving feeling” toward us. These are some practical things you can do every day:

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quote over a pink flower on a lily padWhat if the man you are longing for loves someone else?

I am dedicating the next few weeks on my blog to answering questions women ask.

A reader recently asked me: “Is it worth being in a relationship with someone who may be in love with someone else but whom he cannot be with?”

My heart breaks at this question because it tells me another woman out there is lonely in love to the point that she will settle. It’s not her fault. She’s been made to believe that if she tries harder, or sticks in there longer, or loses more weight, or changes her behavior in some way, this man will begin to love her, or love her more, or love her once again.

read more

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