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You at one time believed God brought you and your husband together. That’s what you told others. And that’s why you married him. Yet, looking back…you were more concerned about what you would receive out of the relationship, than what you could give.

I did that, too.

It’s only natural. We think first of our needs, our happily ever after, our own selfish ambitions. But I truly believe God brings us together with another individual in marriage to show us, firsthand, what it means to exercise Christ-like love and become more like Christ in our everyday lives.  That being said, those days when you and I are “fed up” with our husband are the days we need to die to self and say “God, how can I serve him? How can I be the wife he needs me to be, rather than focusing on his shortcomings?”

Wives frustrated with their husbands often ask me, out of desperation, what they should do. Two things:

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father-daughter silhouetteAfter my post last week — reminding you that you have a Father in Heaven who invites you to call Him “Daddy” — I thought I should follow up this week with some practical tools for those of you who need to move forward out of that “Father Wound.”

If  you are one who has never experienced the love of a father, or has been disappointed through unmet expectations or even hurt deeply by your father, you don’t have to remain “stuck” in that place of heartache from year to year. You can free your heart from unmet expectations, pain and regret by taking a journey of forgiveness that I have watched countless women make:

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Are you struggling with how to forgive your offender? free yourself when you forgive your offender

After 20 years of counseling women, I’ve discovered the main reason a woman doesn’t want to forgive her offender is because she doesn’t want to let the person who hurt her “off the hook.”

Yet, to forgive your offender — a  person who has hurt you deeply — means you are letting YOURSELF off the hook.

In my book When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts, I talk about the healing power of releasing yourself through forgiveness.  read more

Do you see yourself according to how your past mistakes have defined you? Do you find yourself believing that you will always be a certain way?

I’ll admit it. I’ve found myself saying, at times, “That’s just the way I am.” But I realize now how pathetic that sounds.

Maybe, like me, you’ve found yourself saying things like:

  • “I have abandonment issues. I’m just that way.”
  • “I will never trust another person. That’s just the way I am.”
  • I have always needed a man in my life. I’m just that way.”
  • “Sorry I got so defensive. You should know I’m just that way.”

A sure sign that we are stuck from pain in our past is when we excuse our behavior by saying “That’s just the way I am.” Or, when we continue to believe that we can never grow beyond a certain place. read more

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