10 Quick Responses to Stop the Drama

Would you like to be done with the drama? Me too.

Admit it. You’ve said (or at least thought) I’m done with the drama

…when your mother calls with complaints that you can’t help her with. Sorry!

…when your teenager is having a meltdown for no apparent reason. Whaattt?

…when your co-worker blames you for an incident that was clearly not your fault. Again?!

…when you get a call from a family member or friend who isn’t attending the gathering because she is planning to be there. Whatever.

…when you discover the talk in the break room, Bible study, or neighborhood  has been about you. Over it!

Or maybe – just maybe – someone else has thought I’m done with the drama when thinking of you.

I’d like to think I’m never the cause of drama. But in reality, you and I can be catalysts for drama without even realizing it. Yes, you have been the cause of drama if you’ve ever…

… told your friend about another break-up worthy situation with your boyfriend, yet you can’t bear to part with him.

… verbally vented at the customer service rep for how you were treated in the store.

… given another mom a piece of your mind after hearing how her child treated yours.

… said anything about anyone that you wouldn’t have said if they were present.

… refused to attend or be involved with something because of another person you didn’t want to be around.

… refused to forgive someone because of something they’ve done to you.

… stormed out of a room or meeting (or lost it, emotionally, and then left the room).

Yep, if you’ve ever done any of the above (like I have), then you know drama, too. And I’m sure you hate it as much as I do.

But you don’t have to be drama…or continue to have drama in your life. After all, how we respond to situations make all the difference — or all the drama — in the world.

Here are 10 statements to verbally diffuse drama in the moment:

  1. Thank you for your concern.
  2. It’s best if I don’t speak about that.
  3. I don’t understand why God is allowing this, but I trust Him.
  4. This isn’t about me.
  5. This isn’t about either of us.
  6. This isn’t the appropriate time or place.
  7. I don’t feel comfortable discussing that without him/her here.
  8. Thank you for your honesty in expressing how you feel. Now I need time to process this before I respond.
  9. Let’s look at the facts, not at how we feel.
  10. I know it’s not ideal, but I’m thankful that ________________________.

Which of these statements will most help you? Let me know in the comment section below and see my new book, Drama Free, for more practical ways to dial down the drama in your life.

About me

Cindi McMenamin is an award-winning author and national speaker who helps women find strength for the soul. She has nearly 30 years experience ministering to women and inspiring them to let God meet their emotional needs, grow stronger through their alone times, and pursue their dreams with boldness.


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Reply April 11, 2017

Comment number 2 suits me best

    Reply April 11, 2017

    Yes, No. 2 has saved me from some impending drama, as well. Thank you for taking the time to comment, Lisa. :)

Dawn Wilson
Reply April 11, 2017

I can't tell you how many times I used #7 when my husband pastored a church. So much church drama is either gossip or perpetuated by gossip. Thanks for addressing the whole drama issue, Cindi. It's an obvious cultural past-time few deal with, and the entitlement mindset makes it worse.

    Reply April 11, 2017

    Thanks for your comment, Dawn. Yes, it took me a few years as a pastor's wife, myself, to figure out how to say No. 7.

Reply April 12, 2017

Number 8 best suits me. I tend to get excited and over-react, so I really use #8 to keep a situation defused. It gives me time to pray and reflect first before responding.

    Reply April 12, 2017

    Thanks for your commment, Patricia. Yes, taking a breather often keeps us from emotionally reacting so we can more maturely respond.

Reply April 12, 2017

wow i find the write up about stopping drama more practical and honestly it would get rid of stress and that unwanted pressure upon our lives. I will adopt this for sure its meaningful indeed.
Rebecca from Malawi, Africa

    Reply April 12, 2017

    Thank you, Rebbecca, for taking the time to comment....all the way from Africa. :)

Deanna Galindo
Reply April 13, 2017

Hi Cindy, I like #1...so simple and definitely speaks an ending to a conversation without being rude.
I also like #9, we as women NEED to focus more on the facts!! We totally let our emotions run our lives, just what the enemy wants!

    Reply April 14, 2017

    Thank you, Deanna, for taking the time to comment. Let me know if you'd like a review copy of the book to consider as a possible study to go through with your gals. 🙂

Reply April 15, 2017

Hello Cindy. Thank you for this reading. I think 6 and 8 will be very helpful for me.

    Reply April 15, 2017

    Glad you will be helped by them, Glenda. :) Thanks for commenting.

Shari Kozlowski
Reply April 17, 2017

I like #3. As I feel there are many situations that are"unfair", I feel this statement will give God the glory for what he's doing that I clearly don't understand and grow my trust and faith in him.

    Reply April 17, 2017

    I agree! Thank you, Shari. :)

Reply April 20, 2017

The customer rep? GUILTY! What is my comment for that?

    Reply April 22, 2017

    Oh my. Good question. I've found myself getting ready to verbally vent at the customer service rep many times, but now that my daughter works at Disneyland and focuses on "making magic for people" she has shared with me so many stories of customers/guests who are so very rude when something isn't an employee's fault -- like a crashed computer system, a delay in accepting payment, misinformation because they were misinformed, and so on. Because I have my daughter standing over me many times when I'm in a situation where the customer service rep seemed non chalant about an advertised price that wasn't honored, or something of the sort, I've learned to swallow my pride, give up my "sense of entitlement," smile, and say "thank you for your time" and that way I haven't created a scene or made someone else feel badly (even if they made me feel badly). The short answer to your question would be this:"Use this phrase: "I'm sorry. I must have misunderstood. Thank you for your time." Let me know if that works. :)

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