What to Do With Your ‘What ifs’


I’ll admit it. I’ve said the words aloud or thought them many times.

And I’m guessing you have, too.

They’re two of the most debilitating words a woman can say, especially when it comes to her children. These two words fill our minds with doubt and our hearts with fear.

They are the words: “What if…?”

What if my children get hurt?

What if they don’t make friends?

What if they follow the wrong crowd?

What if they’re lying to me?

What if they never get married?

And even: What if I’m not a good enough mom?

I realized one day, after spending time in God’s Word, that at the root of all my “What if” questions and worry is what I really believe about God’s character. When my mind plays through the various what ifs, the question I’m really asking is “What if God isn’t able?” “What if God isn’t good?” “What if God can’t handle this?”

There’s a reason God’s Word tells me “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus,” (Philippians 4:6-7, NLT).

As I give God all of my what ifs, worries, and anxieties, He can calm my heart and remind me that He is in absolute control.

That was the lesson I had to learn myself before I wrote my book, 10 Secrets to Becoming a Worry-Free Mom. Based on my own experience mothering – as well as wisdom and advice from many other moms – I found that there are treasures (secrets, if you will) to discover as we surrender to God what is closest to our hearts – our children.

One of those treasures is the incredible peace He offers as the Perfect Parent who allows us to partner with Him in raising, loving, and caring (not worrying) for our kids.

When I give God what is closest to my heart I am saying “You, God, are capable. You are trustworthy. And all my worries and what ifs are in vain.”

What are you saying – to God and to others – when you worry? And what would you like to start saying with your life and your actions from this point on?

I’m giving away three free copies of my brand new book, 10 Secrets to Becoming a Worry-Free Mom For a chance to win, let me know in the comment section below why you would benefit from reading this book. Winners will be announced on next week’s blog. (U.S. residents or American Post Office boxes only please.)

Cindi
About me

Cindi McMenamin is an award-winning author and national speaker who helps women find strength for the soul. She has nearly 30 years experience ministering to women and inspiring them to let God meet their emotional needs, grow stronger through their alone times, and pursue their dreams with boldness.

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20 Comments

Mindy Minkus
Reply March 1, 2016

I would love to read your book. I have always been a what if person worrying about everything that might happen. Especially when it concerns my children. Please consider me to receive one of your free copies. You once spoke at a women's retreat my church had. I can't remember exactly where but down south coast. Oceanside Christian Fellowship is where I attend in El Segundo.

    Cindi
    Reply March 1, 2016

    Thanks for your comment, Mindy. And thanks for keeping in touch since I spoke at your retreat awhile back. You're in the running for the new book. :)

Marsha Booker
Reply March 1, 2016

I would benefit from your book as God is shifting my perception taking me to another level of faith praise and worship.

    Cindi
    Reply March 1, 2016

    Thanks for your comment, Marsha. God is so good to take us to new levels of trusting in Him. We have never fully "arrived" have we? :)

Kelly Bistline
Reply March 1, 2016

I have always struggled with worry. It is something I struggle with more since losing my husband to cancer 5 years ago. I try not to worry about all the "What If's" but I struggle on a daily basis. I'm sure this book could help me learn ways not to worry so much about my kids and other things as well.

    Cindi
    Reply March 1, 2016

    Thanks for your comment, Kelly. Having endured loss, I imagine the fears can be overwhelming, at times. But my book takes the reader through the process of focusing on the facts, rather than her fears, and the truth of WHO God is, rather than the fearsome scenarios in our heads.

Edith M Horst
Reply March 1, 2016

I would love to have this book sent to my daughter. She worries so much about her children in college and how to let them go and work to help finance some of their own money that they could help with instead of always depending on Mom.

    Cindi
    Reply March 1, 2016

    Thank you for commenting, Edith. You are entered into a drawing for the book for your daughter. :)

Mary L Mercado
Reply March 1, 2016

Cindi this book will help me stay positive and speak positive words to my children and learn more valuable information from your books so far I have bought 3 that I am reading they are awesome bless you for these books

    Cindi
    Reply March 1, 2016

    Mary, thank you for your comment and for your desire to speak positively to your children. I'm thrilled to hear you are reading through three of my books right now. Bless YOU for being one of my faithful readers. :)

Lisa L.
Reply March 1, 2016

I come from a long line of "worry warts" :-) My daily time in God's Word is helping me to fight that battle. My current worry-project is whether I need to homeschool my children, one of whom has special needs. I am filled with the "What ifs" that go along with such a ginormous leap of faith. I would add your book to my accumulating arsenal of strategies as I pray for God's Will in this season of our lives.

    Cindi
    Reply March 1, 2016

    Lisa, thank you for sharing how you would benefit from this book. It certainly would help you with your latest "worry project". Sounds like you have a lot of decisions in front of you....as well as a God who goes before you into them.:) Keep building that arsenal of strategies.

Darcey
Reply March 3, 2016

I hate to be such a worrier, but it seems to be what I do. I internalize and cannot seem to let things go. Trying to pray more and worry less. The more I worry the less I get done. It is a vicious cycle.

    Cindi
    Reply March 3, 2016

    Thank you for your response, Darcey. I hope you win the book as a way to stop that vicious cycle. :)

Valentina
Reply March 3, 2016

I would love to be blessed with a copy of your book. I often have the "what if's" not only in my head, but I speak them out loud. Being a single mother of a strong willed toddler, I always tell myself, I don't want to emotionally hurt her like my mother did to me, what if she grows up resenting me. I constantly pray, read devotionals and pray with and for my daughter. With God's help, I know I can raise her to love God like I do.

    Cindi
    Reply March 3, 2016

    Valentina, Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns. My book, When a Mom Inspires Her Daughter, would also be very helpful for you right now. You're right, with God's help you can raise your daughter to love God like you do. Blessings. :)

Jeanne Doyon
Reply March 3, 2016

This post came at the perfect time. I just found out my single daughter is adopting a special needs child (2-3 yrs old) from China. The last couple of weeks have been awful as I struggle with the many emotions...fear that she will financially struggle and lose her house because of the fees...what will people say...what if...
So I think your book would be very helpful as I navigate becoming a first time grandma

    Cindi
    Reply March 3, 2016

    Jeanne: Thank you for sharing what concerns you. I've entered you in the running for the book. My prayer is that you will experience the peace that your daughter has as she takes on this endeavor. God's blessings...

Cheryl
Reply March 26, 2016

Requesting permission Cindi to read your book When God pursues a woman's heart, on our christianradio station Good News Radio. it would be SUCH a blessing! Thanks Cheryl

    Cindi
    Reply March 26, 2016

    Hi Cheryl. Yes, you have my permission to read portions of "When God Pursues a Woman's Heart" over your radio show, provided that you cite the title and my name as author each time. Please also mention that the book is available at www.StrengthForTheSoul.com. Thank you and God's blessings as you share the Good News.

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