Are you trying to change your husband? Here’s hope…

Book cover of "If My Husband Would Change, I'd Be Happy"Are you trying to change your husband?Are you thinking you’d be happier married to someone else? Are you just falling out of love with him?

My friend, Rhonda Stoppe, has written a beautiful book to address all those myths and more — and offer you hope and insights into a more fulfilling marriage.

I’ve asked her to be my guest blogger this week and give you a sneak peek into the premise of her new book, If My Husband Would Change, I’d Be Happy (& Other Myths Wives Believe).  You also have a chance to win a free, signed copy of her book at the end of the post, so keep reading.  

Rhonda says…..

I just love a good love story don’t you? In my new book If My Husband Would Change I’d Be Happy — And Other Myths Wives Believe, I wrote about some incredible couples from the Bible, history, and present day through whom God accomplished extraordinary feats. I discovered their secret to happiness was found when their love for each other deepened through their genuine love for Christ.

As I wrote, I laughed, I cried, and I longed for my own marriage to reflect Christ’s love the way these incredible marriages did in their generation. Don’t you want your marriage to be a beacon of Christ’s love to your generation?

If you are a follower of Christ, you may be surprised to learn that the number one thing on God’s agenda for you–and your marriage, is not that you live “happily-ever-after” as many believe is the goal of a happy marriage.

But rather, your marriage will experience true happiness when you realize, God created you to bring glory to His great Name. Through the good times, and the bad, does your marriage glorify Christ? Listen to what God says is His purpose for creating you:

Everyone who is called by my name

…I created for my glory

Whom I formed and made (Isaiah 43:7).

Created for God’s glory––What does that mean? The word glory in this passage means to reflect or magnify. In other words, if you are a believer you’ve been created to live in a way that draws others to God as they see His character lived out in your life– beginning with your children, if you have them.

In 18 years of youth ministry along side of my youth pastor husband, the number one issue that pushed teens, who grew up in the church, away from God was the hypocrisy of their Christian parents. More specifically, when their parents’ marriages were “secretly” in conflict.

You know what I’m talking about…Mom and Dad have a big blow up in the car on the way to church, but then they put on their “everything’s just fine” faces when they arrive. Kids are not only sickened by this display of hypocrisy, but it is one of the main reasons why 75% of teens leave the church after they graduate from high school.

You are writing your own love story for your kids to read.

You see, your children are watching you to see if what you say you believe makes a difference in your life––and your marriage. If your kids observe strife and daily conflict between you and your spouse, don’t be surprised if they grow up to reject your faith.

When you realize that God brought you together with your husband for the purpose of reflecting Christ’s character to this generation, it will help you understand the importance of drawing near to Christ so that He can love through you with His perfect, selfless love.

You will be happy to discover the deeper your love for God grows, the more deeply He will love your husband through you, and in this you will find the secret to true happiness in marriage.

And don’t feel left out if you are married to a man who does not know Christ, or does not lead your family to follow the Lord. In my new book you will be happy to read the love stories of a number of women who were married to ungodly men, yet God used these women to shine brightly for Christ in their generation.

Remember, the key to experiencing fulfillment in your marriage does not lie in how well your husband measures up to your expectations, but in how well you love God.

Cindi here….If you would like to win a free signed copy of Rhonda’s book “If My Husband Would Change, I’d be Happy” tell me in the comment section below one thing you truly appreciate about your husband. I’ll pick a winner on Friday, Aug. 28 to receive a free book (U.S. residents — or American Post Office boxes — only please).

Rhonda Stoppe is an accomplishedRhonda Stoppe and her husband, Steve. and enthusiastic Christian speaker with more than 20 years’ experience in helping women build no-regrets lives. She and her pastor husband, Steve, minister in Northern Cal9ifornia and have four grown children as well as grandchildren. Rhonda is also the author of Moms Raising Sons to Be Men.

About me

Cindi McMenamin is an award-winning author and national speaker who helps women find strength for the soul. She has nearly 30 years experience ministering to women and inspiring them to let God meet their emotional needs, grow stronger through their alone times, and pursue their dreams with boldness.


Darlene Dunlap
Reply August 25, 2015

There are so many things that I appreciate about my husband but naming one thing would be his strength. Not in muscles, but his will, he never gives in. He suffers from chronic pain and is disabled but he doesn't let it stop him from life. He does what has to be done, he never complains. He does all the housework and cooking, and yard work. I work as a nurse to support us, but I couldn't do it without him. He is amazing.

    Reply August 25, 2015

    Thank you, Darlene, for sharing how your husband is an inspiration and a blessing in your life. :)

Kimberly Nesteruk
Reply August 25, 2015

I am thankful for how my husband takes care of me when I am sick.

    Reply August 25, 2015

    Thanks, Kimberly. We tend to think our husbands don't know how to nurture and then they really shine when we need it, don't they? :)

Reply August 25, 2015

Not that I want my husband to change...because I don't! I am SUPER blessed that he is who he chooses to be! But I read Rhonda Stoppe's blog entry and took away a GREAT piece regarding, "Mom's Raising Sons to Be Men" (another one I need to read even though our son's grown into a wonderful young man now!), so I imagine I could reap a pearl or two from this book:-)

My husband is a blessing in MANY ways but the most important is his faith! I SO appreciate that he is the spiritual leader of our home! He professes the Lord no matter where he/we are or what he's/we're doing. For instance, because of the nature of his career he was laid off from work (buy-outs, down sizing, mergers, etc...) 11 times in 10 years. It was TOUGH. He met each one of those challenges with, "Well, we're just going to see what the Lord has next for us. He never closes a door without opening a better one." He refers EVERYTHING to God, which as his wife and mother of our children, gives me such peace<3

Carmencita Abellana
Reply August 25, 2015

The very best thing I appreciate about my husband is he still gives me flowers during special occasions.

Reply August 26, 2015

As someone who is interacting with parents (mothers) on a daily basis, I think this is a great book.

Reply August 26, 2015

I am not married; but I am asking God even now to make me into the kind of woman who will love her husband with His love and not look to my husband to meet my every expectation. Psalm 62:5 is one my favorite verses. "My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him."

    Reply August 26, 2015

    That's one of my favorite verses, too, Karen. And you're a wise woman to anticipate God, not your husband, being able to meet your expectations. It's the reason I wrote my book, Letting God Meet Your Emotional Needs. I had to learn that lesson as a young bride.

Reply August 28, 2015

Congratulations to Darlene Dunlap for winning a free, signed copy of Rhonda Stoppe's book, "If My Husband Would Change, I'd Be Happy (& Other Myths Wives Believe)." Thank you to all who commented for a chance to win the book.

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