When Mother’s Day Hurts

If God is saying “no” to your prayers for a child, I can understand if Mother’s Day hurts.

I remember the hurt and confusion I felt many years ago as I was asking God for a second child. Although I didn’t understand why He was withholding a baby from me — while many women around me seemed to be getting pregnant whether they wanted to or not — God had His reasons and His purposes, that I have realized through the years.*

While my first reaction was to question God, I now realize there was wisdom in His withholding.

While your discovery of His reasons and purposes might still be down the road for you, let me encourage your heart with these three truths:

If God has said “no” to your prayers for a child:

  • His “no” might be protecting you from something you can’t yet see. God sees our whole story, while we only see the here and now, the hurts and the questions. His “no” is much better for us than our insistence on a “yes.”
  • His “no” may really mean “wait – the timing isn’t quite right.” God’s ways are perfect (Deuteronomy 32:4) and so is His timing.
  • His “no” may very well be because He has something far better for you that you haven’t even thought to request. I know it’s hard to imagine now, but He is the giver of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17) and His choice of gifts for us is always better than ours.**

Will you trust God with the story of your life that He has written out before you (Psalm 139:16)? He has promised “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11). Therefore, if you are walking uprightly, and He is withholding something from you, then you can be assured of this: Either what He is withholding isn’t truly good for you; or it isn’t time.

I know it’s difficult, my friend. But trust Him. He knows you. He hears you. And He sees your tears.

*For more on this story, see Chapter 2 in When Women Walk Alone.

**For more on this topic, see my newest book, When God Sees Your Tears.

About me

Cindi McMenamin is an award-winning author and national speaker who helps women find strength for the soul. She has nearly 30 years experience ministering to women and inspiring them to let God meet their emotional needs, grow stronger through their alone times, and pursue their dreams with boldness.


When God’s Gift is “No”
July 15, 2014
When God’s Word stings
July 01, 2014


Amber Paulsen
Reply May 5, 2015

I'm thanking God for leading me to your blog today to read your powerful post, sweet Cindi. I haven't logged into facebook for a couple days, so didn't know if you posted it there. (I'm not a big face booker ;o)) You were on my heart, so I went to your website - I guess the Holy Spirit knew I needed to read this. Always so thankful for your writing and how HE ministers to me through you, with your words and just the right scripture. You're a blessing and I'm so thankful for you. :)
P.s. Our bible study JUST got done with your book last week "When Women Walk Alone". Praying the Lord guides what we study next.

    Reply May 5, 2015

    The Lord truly guided you here because the blog just posted this morning...just a couple hours ago. :) I'm glad it ministered to your heart. Thank you, too, for letting me know, Amber. Your responses always encourage me.

Reply May 5, 2015

Thank you for this post, Cindi! So encouraging!

Reply May 6, 2015

This message was so on time. I know it was God. I literally just got back to my desk after seeing proof that I'm not pregnant and saw this in my email. My period was a week late and for the first time in years I really started hoping that I was pregnant. I've been trying to get pregnant for 6 years, married for 8. We plan on starting IVF soon so it looks like we will stay the course. It's still pretty sad.

    Reply May 6, 2015

    I understand, Monet. Thank you for encouraging me with the news that this newsletter/blog of mine was right on time in your life. I trust God to do that with my readers and anyone He wants to minister to. You were obviously on His heart today. The timing...and your news...didn't take Him by surprise. I'm praying for you today and that you will clearly sense God's direction in where to go next. Please keep in touch. I love hearing those stories of how God came through at exactly the right time. :)

Ehimony Grace
Reply May 14, 2015

Dear Cindi, thanks for this piece on when mother's day hurts. Its actually for me and it is an answer to some of my questions. Love you ma and more grace.

    Reply May 14, 2015

    Ehimony: Thank you for reading and letting me know that this piece was for you. Blessings to you.

Reply May 23, 2015

What a blessing this post was to so many women...just as the blessing you are<3 Never stop doing what you do, you are a gift!

    Reply May 23, 2015

    Thank you, Chery. And thanks for catching up with the posts! :)

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *