How to inspire your husband
Do you ever feel like you walk alone in your marriage because he’s just not responding the way you’d like?
Are there things you don’t understand about your man that drive a wedge between the two of you?
Well, you don’t have to feel alone in your marriage anymore. You can learn how to inspire your husband and draw his heart closer to yours in ways you’ve never imagined.
In my recent interview with Dr. James Dobson, I shared some practical steps from my book, When a Woman Inspires Her Husband, that will help your husband see you as the one person he wants to be around the most.
Your husband lives in a world where it’s important for him to know that he’s winning. So what’s the best thing you can do for him? Become his cheerleader. When a man hits midlife he needs his wife to be more like a girlfriend, than a mother. Your husband needs to have a No. 1 fan to cheer him on, support him, encourage him, and believe in him even when he isn’t too sure if he believes in himself. And ladies, that No. 1 fan of your husband needs to be you.
So how can you be his cheerleader in a practical way? By putting into practice the following attitudes and actions until they become habits. (This will help you C-H-E-E-R him on!)
“C” – Come Alongside Him
In Genesis 2:18, when God said that He would make a “helper” suitable for Adam, God used the same word that describes the role and ministry of the Holy Spirit. In the New Testament, the Holy Spirit is called our “helper” — and He is also our counselor, comforter, intercessor, and advocate. In giving you to your husband as his “helper,” God was giving your man someone who was designed to act, in some ways, as his counselor, comforter, intercessor and advocate.
One of the best ways you can come alongside your husband and be his helper is to quietly watch and prayerfully wait upon God to know what your husband needs and how you might best respond to meet that need. Just as the Holy Spirit quietly ministers to your heart, you can quietly minister to your husband’s by being his helper without him even knowing it.
“H” – Help Him Look Good…Always
Sometimes when my husband and I are conversing with another couple, he will describe something that took place, but in a way that’s different than how I remember. For instance, he might leave out some details or get some of the specifics mixed up. And being a former reporter and self-appointed “keeper of details” I often feel I have to set things straight. (Alert: What not to do!) I’ve grown to understand the golden rule applies here. Treat your husband as you would want to be treated. Don’t correct him in front of others. Revere him in the same way you want to be revered. It will go a long way with him. And that’s what a cheerleader would do.
“E” – Encourage Him Personally
Leave sticky notes telling him how awesome of a man he is. Constantly remind him that he’s still the one. Those words go a long way with a man in terms of building him up and letting him know you not only respect him, but desire him, too. You can have a profound impact on your husband’s life, job and personal well being, simply by providing a reaffirming voice, a positive smile, a tender touch.
“E” – Elevate Him In Front of Others
“A guy wants to feel like he’s his wife’s hero,” my husband told me. A few days later, I heard that firsthand from someone else’s husband, Doug. “There’s nothing better than hearing my wife tell someone else: ‘My husband is the man for that job. He’s the best there is.’ When she says that, and really believes it, I feel 10 feet tall.”
Ephesians 4:29 gives us a beautiful principle to live by — and it especially works in marriages: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” That verse implies that others have a need to be built up, and when you think about it, who doesn’t? Your husband has that need, too, especially to be built up by you. Find ways to build your husband up privately and publicly.
“R” – Respond to Him Enthusiastically
Positive words are great, but they are not enough. It’s important for your actions to show how much you support and love your husband. Affirming looks, smiles, touches, hugs, kisses, and sexual intimacy (initiated by you!) are priceless. To the contrary, the roll of your eyes, the tightening of your lips, and an exasperated sigh will tell your husband that you’re disappointed. Let the light in your eyes, the spring in your step, and the smile on your lips show how much you adore him. Give him no reason to doubt that you are his greatest fan.