Our Lives are Not Our Own: Debunking the Myth that We’re in Control

I tend to be a control freak.

I don’t mean to be. It just happens. I want things my way and in my timing and I get frustrated when that doesn’t happen. Just ask my husband.

Yet, one of the basic steps to wholeness, as outlined in my newest book, When a Woman  Overcomes Life’s Hurts, is relinquishing our “rights” and admitting we are not in control — God is.

When we believe we have a right to be happy,  a right to a pain-free life, a right to have answers to all of our questions, we are believing a lie that results in disappointment and disillusionment. Sometime it even results in bitterness. Practically speaking,  even if we were to insist upon our “rights” we can’t control other people’s actions or life’s circumstances in order to ensure that we get what we have a “right” to.  And yet, I found healing the day I made a list of all the things I felt I had a “right” to in my life and then surrendered them to God, acknowledging His control over my life.

God’s desire is not to make us happy. God’s desire is to make us holy. And, therefore, God is going to do what He’s going to do with our lives, whether we approve or not.  So when we thank Him for what He’s allowed in our lives and trust Him through the process He is allowing to make us more like His Son, we not only open ourselves to His purposes in our lives, but we please His heart. And where there is obedience, there is always joy. (Psalm 16:11 says “You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”)

Think about it, would you really want to live in a world in which YOU were God? I mess up enough on my own…I wouldn’t want to be responsible for everyone else. I love the fact that as all-knowing and all-powerful as God is, He is still intimately acquainted with my life and desires only good for me (Jeremiah 29:11). When I keep that in mind, I can rest assured that His plan for my life is far better than my plan.

True surrender to God — and true wholeness — means recognizing your life is not your own; you belong to a loving Master who has your best at heart.

Try it right now:

1) Make a list of all you have felt you have  a “right” to in your life.

2) Next, prayerfully tell God about each of these items and surrender them to His will.

3) Now,  experience the peace that inevitably follows.

About me

Cindi McMenamin is an award-winning author and national speaker who helps women find strength for the soul. She has nearly 30 years experience ministering to women and inspiring them to let God meet their emotional needs, grow stronger through their alone times, and pursue their dreams with boldness.


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Reply October 10, 2012

Great article Cindi. I am daily GRATEFUL that God is in control...especially of ME! I say to people time and time again, "God gave us free will, NOT control." Thank you God that YOU are in control<3

    Reply October 10, 2012

    Thank you, Chery, for your comments. He really can run our lives a lot better than we can! : )

Reply October 14, 2012

I totally agree. But although I don't want to be in control, I sure do want my circumstances to change!! When will I walk in the knowledge that IS wanting to be in control? Still searching for that peace that passes understanding as I turn over my disappointments to the Lord. I LOVE your books, your blog and your support!

    Reply October 14, 2012

    Thank you, Kathy, for your kind words. Blesings as you continue to wait on Him.

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